Sunday, February 1, 2009

Wondering why.

I was going to blog about cleaning, organizing and decluttering tonight...but I just can't. Something is more important tonight...many "things" actually.

When I first started blogging, I was completely overwhelmed by how many creative women are out there. It quite literally leaves me sitting with my mouth hanging open in front of the computer screen...thinking, How cool is that? And, How did she think of that? It has been a wonderful discovery for me. I am amazed at the talented women out there...whether it be writing, crafting, cooking or decorating. I am in awe.

Lately though, I am overcome for another reason. I am floored at the power of blogging and more importantly, the power of prayer. I have read so many heartbreaking stories on blogs, mostly to do with children. Children who are sick. Children who have died. Women who have lost goes on and on. Grief for these women has overcome me many times. And I am reminded again, how fortunate I am.

When the worst happens -- we ask why?

Why would God take a child?
Why would God take a mother or daddy?
Why do we have to deal with cancer, illness?

I believe that these people suffer so that we can remember how lucky we are, and not take advantage of one second of our blessings. I believe they have been dealt that nasty card so that we never forget how fortunate we are. I wish no one had to do that for us. It is a cruel reminder but sometimes it's the only way I can explain how God works.

Many times over the past few days, reading about so many families who have suffered loss...I have cried and asked why. No matter how I try to explain it, I don't understand the lesson in losing a child, or having a child suffer. And then I go to my sleeping baby. Look at him. Touch his cheek. And I remember these families. I pray for them and for us.

Here are a few of the sites that I have visited recently who need your prayers...whether it be for something that just happened yesterday or two years ago...

Pray for Jessica's son over at The Russo Corner.

Pray that Kelly's baby daughter continues to fight her illness over at Kelly's Corner.

I was up till 1 a.m. reading Angie's story at Bring the Rain on Friday night. I cried. And cried. And cried some more. Pray for her family that they will continue to heal with each day.

Pray for Adrienne, who has endured what I don't think I possibly could.

For Jessica, who lost her daughter this past Friday. She was only two months older than my son. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how.

I am humbled. So quickly it can be gone.

Life is so precious.

My heart hurts tonight.

I am going to go kiss my sleeping child, snuggle next to my husband and say a prayer.

I am so thankful. For the good and what the bad teaches us.

If you know someone that needs prayers, post a link in your comments.


  1. I can relate to this post that is for sure. You come up with amazing things.
    There lots of room for prayers- I know what you mean as I go by blogs and see so much that tug on my heart to lift up in prayer.

  2. I think you have just nailed it. You said what I have been thinking. I believe that this blogging network it a great support, for laughs, tears, and prayers!

  3. I believe in prayer 100%. I am heading over to each of these blogs to pray! Thank you for posting this!

  4. I am with you 100% The past few weeks I have been completely overwhelmed with sadness for the stories I have read and with Thankfulness in my own life. I too like you have sat and read a blog and just cried and cried over their story. Just when I think I have it "so bad" I dont have to look very far for a reality check.

  5. This is just eye opening and heart wrenching.
    Tears are running down my face right now.
    I'm praying hard....

  6. Such pain and heartache is hard to understand. So much suffering. My prayers go out to each family who is struggling.

  7. I think that people are so quick to say "why God", when we forget that Satan is out there also!! I had a problem with this a while ago, and still daughter was born with Spina Bifida and she goes through trials everyday..Simple things we can do(like go to the bathroom) she can't do on her own, I have learned so much in her 4 years of life...She is so strong and I am so proud that God entrusted his special child in my care till we go home to meet Him! Thanks for praying, and most importantly CARING!!

  8. This has been my heart, and my struggle for the last few months. About a year ago, I came across the site Sheye They lost their daughter 2 years ago {it was the one year anniversary when I began reading}. I was affected for weeks really badly, and quite honestly, I am forever changed.

    I never understood how someone could go through losing a child...and live.

    Then last September, I lost a baby. It was through miscarriage, so I know it's different than living with a child for 3 years, and then losing them. THAT I cannot understand.

    Over the last few months, since I've really gotten into blogging, I've run across SO many hurting people, lost babies, sick babies.

    Angie's story also forever changed me. I remember sitting for hours and hours one night reading and crying. I could not stop reading it. And my heart broke. I thought about their pain. I thought about my pain.

    I believe that God walks with us through these horrible times. He allows {those of us that will} to bring glory to Him, and hope to so many others. He allows us to minister to others walking that same dark path.

    I always pray, NO matter WHAT it is, that God will use it. Then it will make the process that much more bearable and meaningful.

    Thanks for sharing Sarah. I understand the heavy heart that you are feeling right now.

  9. I know what you mean, it tears me up inside to see what these families have gone through. I cry for each and every one of them for days (which is really embarrassing since I read them all at work). Here is another amazing story:

  10. My heart goes out to all those families and I think it is great that they are getting support from so many people.

    As a nurse, I have seen more than my fair share of sickness/death. And I don't understand the WHY? but I do understand that God uses all times in our life to show us the support of total strangers, to grow in our faith, to lean on him, etc.

  11. You know, we aren't reminded often enough that everything we have, everything, even our children are not ours. They are His! We also need to always hold in our hearts that when we do our best as parents, protect our children the best we now how, pray as often as possible, that God will take care of them. It's a leap of faith this day and age with the evil in the world. We can't question God, we must only have faith. Complete faith! We don't always understand the end result, our faith is shaken at times but there is no other comfort in the world like Him. Good for you for posting in order to lift these women up, we should always remember to do that. We have so much to learn from each other!

  12. I couldn't agree with you more. My hubby asked why I was cryin 2 days ago while sittin at the computer and I told him I was just overwhelmed with feelings...I feel sad for the parents and kids while reading the blogs but I am also in awe of how a community of strangers have wrapped all kinds of love and support ard comments.
    and last night I found another one a hubby lost his wife 27 hrs after delivering their beautiful daughter. I am saddened by the loss for these people and I am grateful for the time I have with my kiddos. Thank you for your heartfelt post.

  13. What a beautiful reminder. All I can do right now is pray. Hugs, Marty

  14. Thanks for the reminder of matter how much we like to play with and re-do things, God is the only one who can re-do people - some healed, some not, why? Having walked through many losses, I can say that God understands what I don't and He WILL work all things - including bad - together for good for those who love Him. It's just really hard to walk through, though. We need His strength and His people to rally around the hurting (which includes us).Thanks for the reminder to pray.

  15. I found Angie's Bring the Rain blog a couple of weeks ago and I was TORN UP for days. Literally, I felt like God unzipped me.... disheveled my heart, zipped me back up ..... and I had to sort it all out. Her blog... while heartbreaking... is such a wonderful testimony to the God we serve. You can see how many people it has already touched. I know in her case... God has HUGE things for her... and her blog is key to showing Christ to people who may not otherwise get to know Him. Thanks for this posting.

    Bless you,
    Jen Allwood

  16. Thank you for sharing this. It is so true that we need to learn not to take our health, our children and our lives for granted! I am featuring your blog, on my blog
    Thank you for your inspiration!

  17. Bring the Rain is not only heart wrenching but also such an amazing view of how much God loves us. Simply amazing. All we can do is forever be faithful to Him and know His plan is perfect.

  18. Sarah you posted EXACTLY how I've been feeling lately. Makes you see what the power of prayer can do, and makes us stop and SEE how delicate life really is!!

    and how much women support other women - even when it's women we've never even met - bonds are made, support is given and love is felt in a way they would have never had if it wasn't for the internet....

    My heart and prayers go out to all of these families!


  19. I needed this today!! My husband is out of town for 7 weeks for work. I am at home with my girls, age 2 and 10 months feeling sorry for myself. We miss him. However, reading this makes me realize how blessed I am. I have my two girls and a wonderful husband. We too lost a baby at 12 weeks. We had tried to get pregnant for 5 long years and it was so hard to try again even after that one time. We are now blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy daughters. This post and reading these stories has saddened me and at the same time made me realize how precious life is. Thank you!

  20. My goodness, there is a lot of sadness out there. Thank God that he is the healer of broken hearts.

  21. I know exactly what you mean...This whole blogging world has opened up an amazing look into every aspect of people's lives. I get overwhelmed by the joy and the sorrow and the absolute humor that can be found. I too have a friend whose little one is struggling with this nasty disease called cancer.

  22. All this month I am having a Celebration at my blog because 2/28 is the Heaven Day for my infant son, I have asked your same questions over and over, we take pregnancy for granted until we are touched by infant loss or birth defects, my pastor did a great post on my blog 2/1 about Celebrating and it being a choice how we deal with the hard blows life delivers, I say all the time I don't know why God hand picked me for this journey and probably won't until I get to heaven, but I was choosen and I pray for all the other moms what are choosen. I will include this post of yours somewhere in my month long Celebration!

  23. This life is just an instant to Heavenly Father, who lives in an eternal world with no death or pain. We hurt so much when we lose a loved one, Heavenly Father understands and loves us... but He has an eternal perspective, to Him they are simply returning home. Perhaps they had other work to do there, or perhaps those of us left needed the painful growing experience. It's hard to grasp now, but it's a small moment in our eternal lives.

  24. HI again...I tagged ya...look at my blog!

  25. I came across the story of this little girl that was just diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer two weeks ago. She is not even one yet. It just makes me so sad and it is so unfair that this can happen. Please pray for her family.

  26. Yes love, I have read about those too and for people to lose, and to endure, and to find strength to overcome, is amazing.

    Sometimes its good to think about others first... take care.

  27. We will never be able to understand this, but you have the right outlook hug you babies like there's no tomorrow and know you are truly blessed!

  28. Buddhests (sp?) believe that a series of awful things happen in order to shield the birth of something truly good. I don't know if that helps, but I always thing of that when really bad things are going on in my loved ones' lives - "something REALLY good must be trying to get born."

    Also, the words, "God is the first one to weep when a child dies," comforts me a bit, too.

    Beautiful post, Thrifty. Thank you.

  29. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain of losing a child. These stories break my heart as well. But this is what I do know. Many people know my story~ orphaned by age 5, foster care, horrible abuse, divorce, infertility...
    Things that made me cry out to my savior that I couldn't take it anymore. Heartbreaking. But for all these horrendous life experiences there has been a glimmer of something good. Emphathy for others, never taking anyone I love for granted and being able to comfort those in a time of great need. It is my prayer that these tragic events will result in a blessing that at this time is unimaginable. That someday there will be peace. That there will be a smile once again.

  30. You are a good and sweet soul. The only thing we can do is pray. I feel the same way about blogging. I feel as if it is God's way of connecting us to one another to uphold each other in prayer. Great blog.

  31. I have been praying for some of the same people today and my heart just aches. Please also pray for Cynthiaa whom lost her precious baby boy, born to heaven today The power of prayer is amazing.

  32. ...and God is using you to spread this message.... Thanks for sharing.

  33. Yes, I totally agree. This blogging world is such a positive force for good. Thank you so much for posting about this!


  34. Sarah--very thoughtful post. My baby son died in my arms over 8 years ago and I still have my why days. I have learned that God is ok with that--He can handle the whys. I got to a point where I decided I wouldn't know in this life why my son died and others live. I also was able to be thankful for having gone through the experience and was able to find many ways that God used our son's death in our own lives and others. The Shack (a book) really helped me with the whys too. Still, the stories and suffering are heart wrenching and while we may never understand why, I take comfort in knowing that God can use the worst circumstances for his glory.

  35. I had been reading some heartbreaking stories tonight on people's blogs and had to quit because it was upsetting me too much. I so understand everything you said and just can't imagine what these people are going through.

  36. Thank you for sharing your feelings and links to these blogs. I will pray for each of these beautiful babies, children and families going through difficult times. Children are such a blessing. I'm so grateful to have 3 of my own. I have a dear friend who lost a baby the same time as Angie last April. Her story is very similar. I too believe in a prayer and God. If anyone else is looking for answers as to why I suggest you visit:

  37. Sometimes when we take a peek into other people's lives, we realize things are pretty okay with us. I'm not sure why we have to have such sadness but I do know that it is during these hard times we draw closer to God and rely on Him all the more. Thanks for sharing your heart today!

  38. you could not echo my sentiments more exactly.

  39. It amazes me everytime I read someones story and pray for them. It amazes me of how wonderful God is, and I always think of this verse.

    Genesis 50:20
    You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

  40. I've been through extreme loss and sadness in my life, so I can relate.

    I agree but don't agree with your thoughts though (respectfully of course). Everyone on earth is going to suffer at some point in their life. There is simply no way to bypass that. I think people think when someone is touched by extreme loss and grief - they secretly say "I'm glad it's not me." But someday that WILL be them. Maybe not the same type of loss, but everyone will still lose some of those that they love some day - friends, parents, perhaps your spouse, and yes, for some - even children.

    I don't think I was chosen over someone else so others could learn from my experience. Only God knows "why".

    I do think, however that people can learn how to be empathetic and caring when people do have such loss. (Although personally I have learned that many don't get it until something similar happens to them.)

    I think it's wonderful that you have such compassion for those who are hurting, and I encourage you to reach out to these people in some way. (It's when people do nothing that it hurts the most.)

    Just a different perspective from someone who has been there.

    God bless, Lyn

  41. Just a small note to add. If we believe in the bible then we also know the suffering that Christ went through in His life.

    I always try to remember that if the Son of God suffered, who am I to think that I won't suffer in this life too?

    It doesn't take lessen the pain of my suffering, but it reminds me that I am not alone.

  42. Lyn, I agree. I have had my share too, but wouldn't change my experiences of grief for the world. Every second of our lives -- good or bad -- changes our course and makes us who we are. I am thankful for the good in my life AND the trials I have faced. It never stops me from asking why when I read these stories though. As many times as I try to explain it, it's never enough. I continue to be humbled and amazed at the power of our prayer.

  43. Hi, Sarah
    Checking in since you haven't posted in a few days and your most recent post is so melancholy. I hope you are spending time with your Bub and enjoying your joy.

  44. Sometimes it's so hard to comprehend why God does what he does but in the end, I just have to remind myself that He is God and he is still on his throne. You are right, there are so many reasons to be thankful.

    Just wnated to update you incase you didn't know, Jessica at the Russo Corners's son is a-ok. He had a good report and the mass is gone!!!!

  45. Hi Sarah,

    On Christmas Eve, my friend Angi's niece Graycn collapsed and nearly died in Florida. They think that a virus attacked her heart. She currently is in the hospital with an artificial, "Berlin Heart" attached the the outside of her body. She is waiting for a heart transplant. Because of the power of prayer and the power of the internet, Gracyn has had 120,727 visits to her website so far, with probably more people than that praying for her. I featured her on my blog and have a permanent post for Gracyn in my Praise and Worship section. To learn more and to be part of Graycn's community, go to this website and sign in:

    Her parents Robin and Kris wrote this:

    "Our sweet 9 year old daughter Gracyn, never ill beyond a common cold/flu has been diagnosed tonight, December 29, 2008 with Cardiomyopathy. The only cure is a heart transplant. The Lord is our strength as we walk this valley. Gracyn is our Hero!

    Be sure to read the latest in the journal, view the photo gallery, and drop us a line in the guestbook.

    We have uploaded a video of an original song by Gracyn entitled I Love You More, and it is available for viewing at"

    This family is so inspirational and are such great witnesses in how they are facing this crisis. God has used them to help me and others walk closer with Him again.

    Thank you for your post and your blog ... you are doing great things too!

    Kathy @www.oregongiftsofcomfortandjoy.

  46. These are powerful words you have written ... and so very thought provoking. Thank you.

  47. Suffering is so hard to understand. But we are not made to understand all things. I am reading "The Shack" by William P. Young. Check it out! It is about a man who has an extremely vivid encounter with God. The imagery is simply beautiful. It changed his life and it will change yours too...and perhaps helps us understand suffering a little better.



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