Sunday, August 30, 2009

Open letter to a new Momma

Today we celebrated the upcoming birth of a new baby boy. The mom-to-be is one of my last friends to have their first child, and there is something so incredibly special about that. Something so special you just don't get when you are pregnant with that first baby. You wonder why everyone has constant big goofy smiles, fluffing all over you and can't keep your hands off your belly. :)

And then you have that baby. And you know.

So Momma B., this is what I hope you remember over the next few weeks:

For at least the new two years, probably more, you will have very little control over your life. It starts with labor -- you can't plan it (I know, it killed me too!), you can't tell that little one how or when to come, and you can't control how the labor will go. All you can do is relax, let go, breathe, and realize you have to give it up to the people that know best...the nurses, your doctor, God.

After the baby is here, you will have zero control over your life because that itty bitty patootie will rule. your. world. You will feel exhaustion like you've never known. You will want to give your right arm for a few straight hours of sleep. You will have to plan to leave the house well ahead of time. And when you do leave the house, it will be 30 minutes later than you had planned.

Speaking of sleep, even the best sleepers (ours slept through at FIVE weeks) will drive you absolutely mad at times. They will sleep three hours at a time for a few nights...sleep for six one night...you will get on your knees thanking God...and then that next night they will will wake up every two. It is a bit maddening. There are also nights when they just don't want to sleep, thank you very much. They would rather just lay there staring at you, thank you again.

Because of this, there may be times you will look at your child at 3 a.m., begging him to PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP. You may not even like him much at those moments. YES -- I said it, there are times you just are not nuts about them for being itty bitty and helpless and ruling your world (at 3 a.m. nonetheless).

And then that moment passes, and in the middle of the night, you will look at your baby's sweet eyes in the dark, rub his tiny head and you may just cry because you are so incredibly blessed to have this child. To be rocking this child at 3 a.m. You will realize there is no place you would rather be, ever.

You will be overwhelmed at how people love your baby. Yes, you know your friends love you. But you will realize you didn't have a clue how much they love you until you see the way they love your child. You will realize how much you mean to the people around you, because of the way they love your baby. It will overwhelm you, the love you will feel in those first weeks.

A few weeks after that sweet bubby is born, you will start needing a little somethin'. Just a little -- a little something in return for all that feeding, loving, feeding, smooching. And then. THEN, your child will smile at you. YOUR CHILD. He will smile at you like you are the sun and the moon and the stars and it will be one of the best moments of your entire life.

You will spend the rest of your days trying to get your child to smile at you like that again.

One of the biggest changes I noticed after our son was born was the new "weight" of being a Mom. It's the best way I can explain it. It's like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, in a good way. You now have a life to look after, and that is a really big deal. Sometimes that weight is really noticeable. You will feel it all the time -- but mostly when you leave the baby with Daddy for an hour. Or with Grandma for an evening so you can go out with friends.

From the day that baby is born, you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS thinking about them, worrying about them, wondering about them. You may not realize it, but it's always there. That weight lessens as they get older, but it's only because you get used to it. You are now a Mommy, and that comes with so much wonderful responsibility.

Your life is about to change for the better. You will never be the same. You will come back and read this a few months from now and have a whole new appreciation for these words. And when someone you love has their first baby, you will try to express to them the crazy, indescribable love they are about to feel, and you won't be able to put it into words for them either.

You are about to meet the love of your life, and I am so happy for you.

58 comments:

  1. Sarah, that was one of the most precious things I have ever read. You nailed it! You brought tears to my eyes. I felt ALL of those things with all of my boys.
    Thanks for the sweet reminder, and congrats to your sweet friend!
    Blessings,
    Traci

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  2. Leave it to Sarah to bring me to tears. As a mommy of 4 I read these words and the tears flow. Every bit of it is true and as the time passes you wonder how you can get it all back and do it all again. Enjoy the new little one on the way, you will truly understand the words "they grow to fast"!!

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  3. Beautiful words, beautifully spoken. I can remember all those feelings all to clearly, and my boy will be 9 on Wed. (He is my oldest.) I had tears in my eyes as I remembered all those emotions--the frustration, so tired you can't see straight. And then the overwhelming love as you gaze at that sweet child.

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  4. My friend is expecting her first. You've inspired me to write her a note - what a special gift. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. This was a great open letter and, as with everyone else, I got teary too! Although mine are now 22 and 19, I still remember how long it took for each of them to sleep through the night {which, by the way, is/was considered midnight to 5 a.m.}. And no matter what their age, you do always worry - I worry about them to this day and when they go out I always say "be careful". My kids are the best thing I've ever done.

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  6. Thank you so much for posting this! I am days away from delivering my first baby boy! As I stumbled upon your post tonight, it seems you were writing directly to me. Thank you for your honest and sincere words. Just as you stated, I know in a few weeks, I will return to this post and read it in a whole new light.
    Anxiously awaiting my precious bundle of joy,
    Lorrie :)

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  7. Yes, Sarah brought tears to all of our eyes with that one! What a sweet thing to do for a friend...I think more of us women who have been down that rode need to right those kind of letters to our expectant friends instead of telling the "horrible labor stories"...you all know what I mean..."I was in labor for 23 hours, pushed for another 5, yada yada yada!" And yes, they do grow up very quickly...mine are now almost 16 and almost 20, and what I wouldn't give for those silly first grins and "momma".

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  9. that was beautiful, I feel exactly the same way. Love your blog by the way.

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  10. beautiful!! *happysigh*

    emily@remodelingthislife

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  11. This is perfect for a new mom--letting her know a little of the craziness, but balancing it with the amazing rewards of being a mom. My first (only for now) is almost 2 and I can't believe the changes in my life and how I feel connected to EVERY mom on the planet! :)

    Congrats to your friend and thanks for this post. I'll show it to every new mom I can!

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  12. That is it in a nutshell! You nailed every emotion! WOW! Makes me want another baby :)

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  13. well way to make me bawl! in a good way :) and you DID nail it. it's perfect.

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  14. WOW- My son is just about 16 months now, and I still get tears in my eyes when I read sweet things like this. I never thought I could fall so IN LOVE with someone until Little Michael was born. He is everything and more I could ever imagine in a child... Your post describes this love perfectly!!

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  15. What wonderful words to a dear friend! I hope she appreciates them, because you couldn't have put it more perfectly!

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  16. I'm going to share this on my blog if you don't mind (all the credit will go to you, of course!!!). It's just so beautiful.

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  17. Wow. I am in tears. You explained it perfectly - and every word is true. I'm a new mama to a 6 month old baby girl and I never knew I could love this much until she was born. Congrats to your friend and her new little love.

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  18. That is wonderful! I am going to post a link on my photoblog www.resolutionsphotography.blogspot.com if you don't mind! :)

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  19. Awwww so sweet. I can't wait for that :) maybe in a year or two

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  20. I have yet to experience this. But it sounds so amazing and I really cannot wait. I always enjoy your posts, thank you for being so diligent and cerative =)

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  21. I am new to you blog and LOVE it. This is so sweet! I am so in love with my soon to be 1 year old. He is just the most precious thing in all the world. Along with his brother who is 8. Kelly

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  22. WOW! All I can say is WOW! I almost want to print this out and pass it out to my friends...you totally nailed all those "un-nailable" feelings. Thank you for the tears of joy and you just passed on to all of us mothers. What a gift you have with words!

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  23. Oh being a mommy is the very best, scariest and most important things I've ever done. Congratulations to your friend and welcome to being on top of the world!

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  24. Well thanks for making us cry! LOL
    Seriously this was so beautiful. After 17 yrs (yes you are reading right- I have my first born when I was very, very young) I am the blessed mother again of a baby boy (he will be 4 months this week) and I cannot tell you how much this hit home. Not that I forgot how it was but to experience all this again at an age that I can FINALLY comprehend the magnitud of my roll on this little person's life,it's..well...amazing!
    Thank you for putting this is such a wonderfull words...and yes...I'm begging for 6 straight hours of sleep, heck I'll take 5!

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  25. Just beautiful! Tears in my eyes...I can remember holding my son (now 6) and thinking I would give anything...literally...to have him go back to sleep. Then there were the time snuggling with him that made all of the sleeplessness worth every second...THEN the smile...the glorious smile that is real, and meant just for you...THEN the word Mommy…how sweet that was...now after 6 almost seven years there are days when I am very, very tired of hearing Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy...

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  26. oh, uh huh...you said it. i think i'll make my BF cry (who is 3 months into becoming a mommy to be) by making her visit you and read this. nothing like working up a preggers hormones first thing on a monday morning!!

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  27. What a sweet post! We are the last of our friends to have a baby...just 6 months ago :-)

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  28. What a heart-wrenchingly beautiful post, Sarah. Thanks...

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  29. What a perfect description of motherhood! I had twins (my first babies) 15 months ago and it has been the hardest, most stressful but yet the most wonderful year of my life. Oh what a change it makes to every single facet of your life!

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  30. I have been reading your blog for about a month now, and I have been meaning to comment before this! You captured a new mom's thoughts exactly! (I say this as I type w/one hand b/c my 7-week-old son, my first baby, is sleeping in my arms.) Thanks for posting this sweet letter.

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  31. Sarah, you pretty much summed up my experience when I was a first-time mom. :) I remember looking at Natalie and WILLING her to go to sleep, and feeling so guilty for it. ;) Thank you for sharing this. :)

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  32. Sarah ~ thank you so much for posting this letter...my daughter, Cassie, is due with her first child on November 7th. She's 20 and so very young...she has no idea how that little baby will make her grow up overnight. The pregnancy was a very big surprise to both of us and she will be living with me for awhile. She graduates cosmetology school in the middle of October, so it will be a whirlwind holiday season to say the least!

    I will be sharing your letter with her if I may...it might shed some light on what will be happening for the next 18 years!

    Much thanks!
    Hugz,
    Michele

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  33. Amen and amen! Love this post, Sarah! Thanks for the addition to your blogroll! If I ever get around to one on mine, you'll be in bold with flashing lights around it :)

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  34. Sarah, so aptly put! My babies are now 31 and 28, and that post brought tears to my eyes...may I add that you never, ever stop thinking always about your babies, even when they are grown men..it is with you from the moment you give birth...Amen!

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  35. What a GREAT post! Every bit of it is true... *sniffle*

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  36. Congrats to your friend. New babies are always such a refreshing gift. They bring the best of memories!

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  37. awwwww, you're making my uterus twitch!

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  38. I'm all teary now! Beautifully said, Sarah.

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  39. Aww. I'm all teary eyed now. That was wonderful and very sweet.

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  40. OH, congratulations Momma B! It's all true, especially that part about seeing those who love you love your child....your heart will just be so full! Enjoy it all, because it does pass so quickly - the good and the bad.

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  41. It is my son's first birthday today, so I am already feeling pretty sentimental, and we just found out one of my best friends is expecting. You said it all perfectly. Thank you for that beautiful, touching, eloquent tribute to mommyhood.

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  42. You said it perfectly. Please excuse me while I go kiss my baby girl *sniff*

    By the way, I've been meaning to tell you this story for awhile -- a few months ago I introduced several of my friends to your site and they've been following ever since. We have such a good time discussing all your super cool ideas and just your general awesome-ness ;)

    Anyway, one day my friend Tiffany was trying to describe to me what sort of items one of our local home decor stores sold and she said, "It's like...the Thrifty Decor Chick, in a store."

    It's official -- you're kind of a big deal :)

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  43. I love your blog - I have commented several times and if you look at my blog - you'll see you are on my blog roll of crafty chics.

    I am doing an awesome giveaway - check it out at www.viettiview.blogspot.com

    Everyone is welcome to enter!!

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  44. Oh why did I have to read this after just seeing The Time Traveler's Wife tonight? Tears, tears, and perfectly said.

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  45. LOVED that. It made me tear up too!

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  46. That was so beautiful. We just had our son 7 weeks ago and even though he's our third child it all feels brand new again! I loved what you had to share about this amazing time in a woman's life. Thank you for doing so.

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  47. So well said!!!! Thank you for sharing that and best wishes to your friend.

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  48. I'm with my youngest daughter and her 9-day-old angel baby girl this week. This morning I read your post to her and we both cried. Such a beautiful way of trying to put into words what really cannot be expressed. Thanks for sharing that with us.

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