Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Facebook Effect

So bear with me here as I wear my psych minor hat. ;) I’m about to get deep with you all. As deep as a conversation about Facebook can go anyway. Ever since I heard about what I affectionately called Crackbook years ago, I’ve been somewhat fascinated with it.

I don’t know if it’s because of the election, but my love/hate relationship with Facebook is leaning towards the latter this time of year. See, I love politics, and I love a good healthy debate. But I also hate conflict. It makes me want to crawl into a hole.

And all I see right now all over FB is just that. It gives me hives, a teeny bit.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.

I’ve often wondered if people study the effect Facebook has had on us. How it’s changed us. I’m guessing there are whole college courses on it now, yes? If not there should be. I so would take that one. ;)

Growing up without something like it, I’ve wondered how it affects my stepdaughter and all her friends who have grown up sharing so much of their lives constantly for the world to see.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I just called to see if your Facebook status was about me.

If you would have told me about something similar ten years ago, I would have told you that people (yes, even close friends and family) could care less what I have to say every day.

But kids grow up now thinking people really do care. And the thing is…Facebook has changed us. I think we DO care. At least more than we used to. And sometimes that kind of weirds me out. But maybe it’s a good thing? I need a psychologist to tell me. ;)

I’ve joked with my friends for years now that “Facebook is a lie.” And by that I mean most people share only the wonderful and perfect and the very best photos and if you’re not careful you can come to the conclusion that you might be the ONLY ONE whose life is not perfect all the time.

Funny Encouragement Ecard: May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

But then you find out that one of those friends is getting a divorce. Or the other hates her job so much she can’t stand to go in every day. And one has had awful problems with her daughter that eat her up every day.

Some people are just happy in general. I’m one of them. When I post, it’s mostly happy stuff. Cause I just don’t like being negative. And I do make sure I look decent in the pictures I post. I mean, come on…it’s Facebook. I’m not an animal.

Then there’s also the few who use FB to complain about everything going wrong in their life. And you’d think they are miserable…but they’re not. They just use Facebook to vent about life and get it out. And then get support – it’s our virtual psychiatrist couch. ;)Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I don't believe anything I read on Facebook, including my own status updates.

I know some people (mostly younger) who will meet someone for five minutes and then go “friend” them – and when I joined a few years ago there was a major rush that came with each new friend request. It’s just goofy isn’t it? A few months ago I realized I didn’t really know a few of the people on my list and decided to clear it out a little bit. I share what I’m doing from time to time and pics of my son, and if I couldn’t remember how we met, or if I haven’t talked to you in ten years…I don’t know if I want to share that personal info with you.

It was freeing to knock down the list a little bit. And a little scary too. What if they realized? Would they hate me? Would the come to my house and knock on the door and demand to know WHY??

And then I realize that I’m worried about someone I barely know hating me because I defriended them on Facebook and how funny all sounds in my head and…I stopped worrying about it. :)

And remember when “defriended” wasn’t even a word?

Funny Birthday Ecard: Facebook's notification that it was your birthday reminded me that I had been meaning to unfriend you.

I’ve considered giving it up. You see, as annoying as I find it to be sometimes, I can get quite obsessed with it. It’s the first thing I click on when I have a free minute in a waiting room. It’s one of the first apps I click on in the morning when I wake up. I don’t post that often…maybe every two days or so. But man, I do like to see what everybody is up to. ;)

Two of my sister’s deactivated their accounts and say they love it. (One just came back on because of her wedding…because hello, wedding pictures!!) I doubt my one sis will ever get back on. My stepdaughter is in a sorority and doesn’t use it much for spans of time and I really actually like that for her. She doesn’t get caught up in posting ten times a day. It convinces me that she’s actually going to class. ;)

But I do love sharing our boy with family and friends. Cause really? He’s cute. For real. And I love seeing what my niece and nephews are up to – especially those that live across the country. I enjoy being able to send my love immediately when I see a sweet newborn baby or a pregnancy announcement. When someone is hurting I like that I can offer up some prayer for them when they need it.

Overall, I think it’s a good thing. But in moderation, at least for me. Maybe I’ll take the app off my phone for a few days? Maybe I’ll just test my willpower and see if I can just find something better to do with my time when I feel the urge to check.

Or maybe I’ll just go right now and see what everyone is up to today. ;) Who knows.

Do you love Facebook? Ever want to go FB free? I know there are plenty of you who don’t have an account (I’m sure you get harassed daily) – do you feel like you miss out? Or are you a FB fan and enjoy it so much you couldn’t live without it?

136 comments:

  1. My name is amy and I am a FB addict.

    However, I agree 100% with what you say here, people make their lives seem WAY better on fB, or Wayyy worse. and this election? Its really making me love pinterest and instagram more b/c you can only talk politics so muhc with pictures.

    coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com

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  2. Thank you for this post -- I've been reading this blog for a while but have never commented! This sums up exactly (!!!!) how I feel about Facebook. Glad to know I'm not the only one out there who realizes what a "fraud" Facebook can be, and how it can make someone feel inferior if their life doesn't appear as "awesome" all the time.

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  3. Absolutely cant stand it during election season. I've "hidden" actual close friends and family until after it's over. Some people just can't help themselves. And no, I don't think FB statuses change anyone's mind.

    Aside from that bit, though, I'm finding that facebook and twitter (and now pinterest) have grown in their usefulness to me beyond just seeing what people are up to, stalking photos and the like. They are great ways to know about upcoming events, deals, etc, actually providing information I can use. That didn't used to be the case.

    Food trucks have really flourished with social media, telling their customers (me!) where they will be around the city and when. I love it.

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  4. I feel the same way about FB. I do love to keep in touch with people, but I don't need to know where they checked into or what they had for diner. It has been useful several times in finding out there was an earthquake or that someone famous died. What is really funny to me is that I just realized I hadn't "liked" your page on FB, so I had to "like" it. Ha... :D

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  5. Facebook has its merits, but I find it more annoying than anything. I mean, I have relatives (close ones that would realize if I defriended them) that post these negative nancy type posts every.single.day and it gets old REALLY fast. I have a cousin who just recently blasted her mom (albeit passive aggressively) on her FB status, and then her mom (my aunt) posted a passive aggressive response in her status. I mean, does the whole world need to know that you're on the outs with your mom/daughter? I joined Facebook when I was in college, back in the days when you had to have a .edu e-mail address to sign up. Now that ANYONE can sign up (especially parents, grandparents, etc.), it's like one big family reunion every day, and I'm just not that into everyone knowing all my business all the time (which is why I just Facebook stalk and never post anything on my status). However, FB has made it oh so easy to keep up with people that it would be hard to keep up with otherwise... friends from high school, distant relatives, etc., so I'll keep logging in every day, and just skim over the more annoying/trashy posts.

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  6. Also, facebook has become a great way to tell people I know about new local businesses that they might not otherwise hear about. I'm personally finding more businesses to support from hearing about them on social media.

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  7. GREAT post! Unfortunately, Facebook isn't the only means for people to make their lives look better than they are. I wish more people knew that--we don't know what happens behind closed doors. NO family, couple, person is perfect, but Facebook just seems to be another avenue for people to exaggerate their happiness (or misery)to others. And yes...Facebook is addicting. There's no doubt!

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  8. Jimmy, you are so right! There is no denying the power of social media. It's reach is staggering. I LOVE it for my blog and connecting with readers. I would truly miss that aspect and don't think I could do without my TDC page.

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  9. I so feel you! I've been FB free for 5 days now and it feels SO good. I contemplated deleting my account altogether but I don't want to lose my biz page and the few groups that I would still like to be a part of. For now Instagram is my new obsession!

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  10. I agree with you too! I have had to hide a few people giving status updates because either I find reporting all the episodes of old shows boring (i.e. that is all they do is watch t.v) or don't want to know their opinion on politics, and lastly just because I am your child's preschool teacher I really do not know you! It really bugs me too when people are totally one way on facebook but you know the drama in their lives.
    Facebook is certainly 1 dimensional!

    Facebook is fun to keep up with family out of town. I love seeing updates of my new grandson and his sister. It also reconnected my husband's cousin. That was totally fun because the first thing I do is look at pics and there before my eyes were pics of her stepson marrying VInce Gill's daughter at the Gill/Grant home! How cool is that? Yep! I was thinking..how about more shots of their house please ;-)

    house

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  11. Jenna, yes I've seen the same. Some share WAY too much personal stuff for my taste. It's changed how we deal with things in our lives, hasn't it? At least for some. ;) You can go in and choose not to follow the feeds of people that may annoy you. It's helpful this time of year especially. ;)

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  12. I keep wondering if I should start up a page for my blog, because I'm already there so much, but then...I'm already there so much!

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  13. I'm very honest on FB and surround myself with friends who are the same. I've chosen to keep my friends list to people I know in real life, except for probably four bloggers who I trust implicitly. Facebook is what you make it and nothing more.

    Last year I turned off the option for Facebook to send me an e-mail every time a friend posts something. It was creating far too many e-mails for me and turning that option off helped a great deal to keep activity minimal.

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  14. Love everything you said. That's so true! I deactivated my facebook account on January 1st, 2012. I think FB was making me depressed. Why? It seemed like everybody was having fun all the time (what a perfect life everybody has on FB!) while I had to study (I am an adult going back to school), work, and do other not so fun things. 10 months later I do not miss FB at all. I do believe FB has an affect on people. Maybe it does not have a negative affect on everybody. But it had on me. That's why I am FB-Free!

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  15. Fabrizia you are not alone! I know of a few people who do the same, at least for short periods of time. I often wonder if I would miss it?

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  16. Amen. I've pulled the plug on Facebook many times, only to come crawling back again and again. I love seeing cute pics of kiddos and being able to stay in touch with people who live far away. But many FB users do present an idealized version of their lives. When you know the reality is much different than what people are presenting, it can be irksome. I have hidden some friends' updates from my timeline so I don't have to unfriend, but can control what I'm seeing each day. This is especially helpful during elections.

    Now Twitter on the other hand...I am obsessed :)

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  17. Great post! We had a speaker talk our MOPS group about women's mental health, and she's actually done a lot of research on the "Facebook effect." It's very much like what many people experience from reading blogs--"her life/house/kids/job is so perfect, why can't I be like that?"

    I use my personal FB account very rarely. It was really just becoming a place for me to get my feelings hurt...hey, wait a minute! Why didn't *I* get invited to that girls' night out? ;) I agree with you that people tend to only share the very very best on their FB pages. Makes you wonder if they've ever had a rough spot. ;)

    I tend to use my blog fan page and the Admin account sparingly. I post updates for my posts and funny stuff from my phone throughout the day, but I try not to get too involved with it. That's probably why the fan page is so tiny, but I'm okay with it. ;)

    And I'd rather use Pinterest to fuel my "visual hoarding." ;) ;)

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  18. And, PS, I have "unliked" some blog FB pages b/c I can't stand the political commentary. I know who I'm voting for, and I don't care to read about a blogger's opinion, especially if they're "supposed" to be talking about DIY, Crafts, or Home Decor. ;)

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  19. Amanda-my sister and I recently talked about FOMO= fear of missing out. Like you have to constantly check to make sure your not missing something, but when you see stuff you weren't invited to or whatever, it's even worse :)

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  20. I work as an advisor at a college and in a few hours I'm actually giving a lecture on social media! Our students just seem to have NO IDEA that employers look at this stuff, that even if you delete something someone else may have taken a screen shot of it, etc. I love me some Facebook and I'm not trying to scare anyone off from using it, but they just think that their every thought and meal is DIRE information and really, it just isn't. :)

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  21. I was an anti-facebooker until I entered the world of Pinterest and blogging. Couldn't figure out how to sign up for Pinterest w/o it. Anyhow, I find myself making sure I skip checking it some days because sometimes it just makes me feel yucky. The old comparison game, ya know.

    There is good and bad to it. I kind of wish my kids didn't have it. They don't use it yet, but there's so much ickiness that can go along with this social media world. It kind of freaks me out. Make a mistake and you can't just live with it and figure it out on your own...the whole world will know. ya know. anywaaaays, i could go on and on.

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  22. So glad I found your blog, I'm in the process of redecoration my living room! Thanks for all the photo ideas this is awesome! You have a new follower:)

    www.McKennaBleu.blogspot.com

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  23. Thanks for this post, Sarah. I'm 53 yrs old - old enough to remember the good old days when folks actually phoned each other with news or wrote letters and enclosed photos of their newborns. I know FB has its merits, but I actually hate it. My daughter is a FB addict, but she uses it to both brag on her house, husband and kids, AND to destroy people - including her friends, her parents and her brother. Yes, she blasted her own brother, our son, on her wall last year in a tirade about a small Christmas gift he'd bought for a friend's child before she even knew what he'd bought for her children. He immediately "unfriended" her and is still that way to this day. This is not the only time she's done this. Every time she gets upset about something, FB is the first outlet she turns to. Of course, her crap is seen not only by her actual friends, but by several of our relatives who are her FB friends. That means her dirty laundry is aired to all of our extended family. She doesn't discriminate either. She'll do the exact same thing to one of her friends, too, if they make her angry about something. And we're talking about a 33 yr. old mother of 3 who should be able to understand that her actions have consequences. Because of this, I with FB had never been invented. If my daughter had to pick up the phone and call 50 people every time she got mad, maybe she'd think twice about it (or get too tired to continue). That's my two cents.

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  24. I'm a Facebook addict as well. To be fair, I do live overseas and I find it the easiest way to share my family's life with others as well as the easiest way to stay connected with others. In fact, those family members who are not on FB have really suffered from lack of pictures and news of us. I need to find a solution for that. Maybe sign them up for Facebook without their knowledge? Maybe not.

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  25. I agree with everything you said. FB definitely has its ups and downs. I like it because it has allowed me to reconnect with long lost friends and relatives and that's positive. But I hate the fact that some people, mainly teenagers, use it for bullying. There is a fifteen year old girl who just committed suicide after years of cyberbullying. That's the absolute dark side of FB and social media.

    By the way, my daughter is studying in media and guess what, she barely goes on FB! And yes, they do cover social media in class.

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  26. I love, love, love this post!!

    There are many things I love about facebook - that I keep in touch with people I may not have otherwise, that I can see what's going on with people I talk to regularly anyway, and especially the pictures. I LOVE sharing my own pictures and seeing other people's pictures.

    But earlier this year I realized there were so many things I hate about facebook, yet I was on it SO MUCH. I especially hate facebook during election years. I hate conflict and I hate that my views of people have changed based on what they post on facebook. I also hate wasting time reading about people I don't even know or care about! I went through a massive "unfriending" earlier this year and it has made a world of difference for me. I also changed the settings for certain people who post too much so they don't clutter my feed. I wish I could hide all political posts and I'd be set. I've found that I don't check facebook as much, because there are so many fewer updates - and the ones that show up, I actually care about!

    All that said, and I still have a love/hate relationship with Facebook :)

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  27. I consider deleting my Facebook all the time. And there are classes on it! I took one my Senior year of college, it didn't just focus on Facebook but on social media as a whole. It was from the marketing aspect so I think a sociological/psychological aspect class would be really interesting.

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  28. I'm a FB stalker. Occasionally I will post a pretty picture that I've taken or one of my kids. I will "like" stuff to win things or even a political candidate. It's also sort of nice to be able to virtually support people that if I had more time I would call them and say "You go girl!" but since I haven't seen them in 20 years I just want them to know that I've always considered them special even if we didn't stay in touch after high school (especially because email didn't really exist back then). I stay out of the political fray but it is a good place to sit back and listen. Hopefully in about four weeks we'll have people moving on to talking about things that they are thankful for or where to score good deals on Christmas items. Until then, I'm just content to sit back and watch.

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  29. I think I have an acount:)I dont use it.. I feel about FB as I do many many other things..For instance, a Hammer. If it hits a nail and builds a home to shelter a family for generations- its a wonderful Thing.
    If its used to hit someone in the head and kill them, its a bad THING.In the end, its just one more Thing and how and who uses it and for what purposes makes the difference.
    I do remember when I last looked at it that it reminds me of millions of 24/7 infomercials all running at the same time and Surely we know just how much belief we can put into informercials- right? lol

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  30. For the reasons you mentioned and a few of my own, I quit Facebook 2 years ago and I haven't looked back. I will admit that sometimes I miss out on things that people are talking about. But it's funny because every time I tell someone I quit, they respond by saying they've been wanting to do the same or go on to complain about how irritating it can be. Hearing their complaints about numerous issues reminds me why I left in the first place.

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  31. I took the app off of my phone a while ago! It's a good move for me I think. I check facebook only on the computer and mostly only for blog stuff. I do check my regular page but sometimes I get more annoyed then happy to see what my "friends" are doing. haha! I hate politics on facebook because 99.99% of the time (I made that % up) it turns into a full-on brawl between peoples' friends. Not fun!

    Anyway, couldn't agree more!

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  32. I'm 57 and I don't want FB. All three of my kids (ages 37, 21, and 18) use FB everyday. They keep up with my relatives that NO LONGER read my blog because they are so caught up in FB. oh well. I started my blog to leave something for my grandkids anyway. Blogging friends have been a perk that I wasn't expecting. I only have 5 after blogging 5 years, but hey! That's okay.

    Each to their own...if it makes people feel better about themselves to show only the good side, then I say more power to them. Lord knows that most people have low self esteems and they need something to help them feel better about themselves. And if they need to vent, let them....maybe there would be less murder if more people vented, huh?

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  33. I'm on the fence like you and leaning more towards 'dislike'. It's basically a public forum that really should be private. I have two FB accounts. One for my blog friends only and another for close family. Most days I wish I had never set up either.

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  34. After reading that, I am really happy I don't do facebook ;-) This year I did set up an account though, but I don't post anything and I pretty much ignore all friend requests unless it's family. I think the reason why I have been so stand offish is that I didn't want to get sucked into this new culture and it sounds funny because I just turned 36, I'm not 80. I did start a FB fan page for my blog because I was told people really enjoy following a blog that way. I did it, and I post my posts directly on it but I don't really do anything else and in fact, because I don't use a personal facebook page I don't really know how to use it correctly! I suppose that is a pretty big disadvantage in this world of technology and the FB culture! Who knows though....if it's not FB it's probably something else that occupies my time :-) Fun post Sarah!

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  35. What a timely post! I literally just put myself on a self proclaimed Facebook diet! And so far, so good! I actually do feel better! I used to be one of those people who left the page up all day at work, had the app on my phone and checked it constantly when not in front of a computer. It honestly is/was an addiction and was making me feel "sick" for a lack of a better word. My "diet" started Monday and I initially told myself I could only get on Facebook once a day and it would be at the end of the day once everyone got all their posting done. Well just today I went on this morning and am debating on whether or not that will be my "one" time or allow myself to maybe check it twice a day, once in the morning, once in the evening. Either way I feel free! I do still enjoy checking it and keeping in touch, especially with friends and family that don't live nearby, but I definitely believe it needs to be in moderation. Not to mention it is such a time waster! I am sure I could have completed a masters degree or something by now, if only I had done this "diet" earlier!

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  36. hahaha...i just posted yesterday that i think most of my fb friends are bipolar i have LOTS of friends who complain about work, family, friends, husbands and then the next post is how great their lives are...ugh! my biggest problem is people are so mean, especially during elections...but alas i can't seem to stop myself! hahahah

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  37. Completely cut facebook off for a year now and I feel great about it. I'm a huge techie and I love all the conveniences of modern gadgets but I found my circle of family and friends to be too much for me 24/7. I worried if my status update would offend someone, I worried if friends would share my children's pics with strangers, I worried if I responded enough to others news and checked often enough. All of these fears completely legitimized by complaints and rants from those near and dear. So I stopped. I deleted my account and I enjoy having people phone me to talk personally, or email with family pictures they want me specifically to see. I'm not part of this giant mob throwing in my two cents, hoping it's the right thing. Twitter was just as insidiously altering. I'm happier without them both. But that's just me.

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  38. I use FB mostly to keep up with friends. Its how we send invites to get togethers and keep each other updated on all that goes on in our busy little worlds. And, I get to see what my daughters' friends are up to. Most of the time, its a positive thing. The political stuff right now...not so much. Please let the next three weeks go by quickly :)!

    The one problem I have encountered was my mother in law. The whole family accepted her friend request, and only one of us has not defriended her (that would be DH and he rarely uses it). She doesn't understand that FB isn't the place to scold me for posting a pic she doesn't find funny, or to berate her teen-aged granddaughter for hanging out with friends instead of coming to visit her. She was making comments on conversations she had absolutely no reason to become a part of, other than to get her two cents in...which she would never have done in real life. I think some people feel they can be rude or intrusive on FB, but it doesn't really count, because its FB not face to face. Do you know what I mean? So, unfortunately, she had to be removed from the environment that she was making uncomfortable. The downside for her? She misses out on day to day (or week to week) pics and anecdotes of what is happening in her son's and granddaughters' lives. What could have been wonderful about FB was ruined due to a sense of not having to follow the face to face expectations of society.

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  39. I do check daily - probably twice, just to keep up on people. I don't like being in a real conversation and have people assume I know what they're talking about because they posted it on FB.

    I have to be really careful though about the way it can make me feel. Like realizing a group of friends went out, and even though they're not my closest friends I sure would have enjoyed being with them. Or one minute thinking my husband is great, and then reading a post of what some other fabulous husband did for his wife and letting it make me feel like my husband isn't as thoughtful. I have to do a reality check in those situations and remind myself that my husband is great all the time and that friend probably posted the one fabulous thing her husband did all year :)

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  40. Im 30 years old (female) and have never had a facebook or twitter account. I just don't want all of my business out there and I don't care what everyone else is doing every second of the day. I just email myself all the things I find on pinterest.

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  41. I check in on FB to see what friends and family are up to and I post pictures of our family get togethers so we can share as we're spread out.

    If I wasn't hanging out with you in high school, why would I want to be your FB friend 40 years (gulp) later? Seriously?

    I posted recently "To all FB friends and family that are using FB as a political platform: I am unfriending you until after the election as your posts are not helpful." Most "liked" it, I unfriended who I needed to and FB is much nicer to check in on.

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  42. I don't FB. I just don't. My friend said to me, Jake-You don't know what you're missing.
    I don't have small children, my family all lives within 25-miles of me for the most part. So that keeps me from having a FB page to update to.
    Also...Everyone I love and care about I can at any time of the day pick up the phone and speak to them in person. My hubby and son facetime each other with ipads or iphones if the regular phone isn't getting the point across or if they want to show each other what they are talking about.

    I feel the same way about texting. I don't text. Want to say something to me? Call or if you think i'll be on my computer in the next few hours you can e-mail. :D

    Just a personal decision on my part. Although I hear rave things about FB from everyone I know that FB's and loves it.

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  43. I think people do the same thing in person, too! When I see a friend, they normally tell me about the good parts of their lives, not the bad parts. And if they were always telling me bad stuff, I would probably start to think they were a downer.

    I haven't noticed lots of the things people complain about - maybe I am just lucky with my friends. I haven't seen complaints about husbands or work very often. Seems like most people just say exciting things going on in their lives, post pictures of the kids, wish happy birthday and anniversary, and share thoughts on things in the news.

    I think Facebook is as important as you make it.

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  44. I use Facebook as a reality check platform.

    I have four kids, three who nap. So one day I posted, "When I get the kids up from nap, I think to myself, Release the Kraken!, my life is a lot like the movies...."

    Somehow, putting the words out there, makes all of the crying, whining, bickering less frustrating.

    I get that I have the life I have on purpose, but that doesn't mean it's all rainbows and skittles (I love skittles).

    However, I also get annoyed when something said in jest turns into an opportunity for my overly pious, and better-than-thou sister-in-law to rip me a new one. Like when I post: Dear fit, shirtless, young men playing Frisbee down the street...it was my pleasure...

    - is not an invitation for you to put me in line about how you're right and I am wrong for appreciating the local attractions.

    I've thought about getting rid of my account, and my blog and my email, etc. But then I think I should probably strengthen the more valuable skills of balancing and prioritizing over joining a convent.

    Apparently I just have done my own blog post.

    Cheers.

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  45. I tried Facebook for a month a couple of years ago, and decided it wasn't for me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want to know who knows what information about me, and vice versa. But that's just me - I know a lot of people love it. I love having more time in my day!

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  46. Great post. I am facebooker but the only reason I have it was to get in touch with friends for my reunion. After that it I kind of got hooked. It also gave me the chance to see what my girls were up to. FB is now a thing of the past for them. The new thing is twitter for my girls which I'm really not a fan of. I am now obsessed with Pinterest and blogging. And this is how I had the chance to meet you and read about your great ideas.
    Anyway, have a great day!
    Kim :)

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  47. I think that a lot of people over-share...I mean, do we really need to know about that fight you just had with your significant other, or that you just went to the gym for the 2nd time today? Nope! Last night with the presidential debate was crazyyyy though...I actually defriended several people because they were being way over-critical of the opposing side (with new posts every 2 min--literally!). It was like "just stop blowing up my newsfeed why don't ya?!"

    I like being able to keep up with people that I wouldn't talk with otherwise, but I feel that sometimes I get too much info. Just like you said, it's kind of a love/hate thing sometimes.

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  48. If it wasn't for FB I would never get to see a photo of my grandson. My daughter never prints out pictures to send to me. She says "they'll be on FB mom, go check."

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  49. Great insight! I think it has changed the scope of it all, but the analyst are still trying to figure it out. The stocks and investors are still trying to come up with a get rich quick scheme in social media and unfortunately Facebook isn't it. I hate it and I hardly ever get on it except to see if family has loaded up new baby pics or to update my fanpage. Weird isn't it. I read the other day that kids shouldn't have diaries anymore. If they want to write about their world the schools and specialist are encouraging them to blog, because it is so much more positive to have the social support. Hum....I see that being an advantage if you are mature enough to use it. But, then there will be some, there always are some, who will write things we wouldn't want to know...ever. HA! It is an interesting development that may still be unfolding.
    Sherry

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  50. I would say the biggest thing that has helped me when I found that I was getting too caught up in it was to hide everyone except those that I really care about keeping up with (mom, siblings, close friends). And now, you can sort people into a 'close friends' category and they are the only ones that show up in my feed (and even within that, I hide certain activity, like games). If I am really curious about someone, I can just use the search bar at the top, otherwise I never think about them.

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  51. I deleted my facebook account about two and a half months ago or so and am so happy i did. I was so stupidly addicted. I knew it and it just made me feel really stupid. I was on it for about 5 years or so. It was really cool at first to see old friends and catch up and see what they were up to. Then I found it horribly unnatural to see so many pictures (I was guilty of posting a lot too). I liked FB but I liked it too much! I got to the point I was obsessed. Since I closed my account I have joined a gym, go to classes 3 nights a week and have more time for my kids. It's actually pretty cool. I might miss out on some of the family stuff but really don't care.

    My blog has suffered somewhat. I had about 4000 followers and just recently switched to wordpress and have lost a lot of the following. Truth be known, I'm a lot happier and have my priorities straight now. Seeing Facebook all over everything kinda gives me the heeb jeebies now. I'm not a big fan like I used to be. I don't plan to go back.

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  52. I went off of FB a year ago because I just couldn't stand it anymore. I felt like I was becoming addicted to it...on it too much, trying to come up with clever things to post, or curious as to what random people were up to or what they would say about my post or pictures. And honestly, that is just NOT ME. I am kind of a private person, I like what I like, I am a stay at home busy mommy of 2 and I just didn't like how I was getting so 'hooked' on FB! Many of the posts on there from people annoyed me...kind of like a 'one up' thing...and no ones life is perfect...mine certainly isn't...and why should I feel the need to have some random person 'like' the picture of tortellini soup I posted for dinner or the new quilt I found at TJ maxx? I like those things for ME, not to get approval from others. So...I got off and will not return. I made this decision for me and I know I am in the minority, but have been much happier since going FB free. BTW... I do check your home page every day and love, love LOVE it! So glad to have found you and your wonderful ideas! And Pinterest...well, there's my guilty pleasure. And no one can 'like' my boards...:) Jennifer

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  53. I have thought about disconnecting from Facebook recently. It does take up a lot of time and can stir up emotions that you'd otherwise be blissfully unaware of. On the other hand, because of Facebook, I know that a sorority sister is battling breast cancer, and I watched as my friends all over the country coordinated meals, care packages, and visits within a matter of days, thanks to the FB group that I was able to create for us. The political comments are getting to me, so I've hidden the biggest perpetrators for now. Maybe I'll unhide them later, but even doing that was very freeing. I know people who give up FB for lent, so I may try that out and see if it lasts.

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  54. I agree completely agree and have contemplated deleting my FB several times. But I enjoying seeing people's pictures and hearing funny stories. I've become a deleter though.....as in, if I have to hide you because your'e negative, rude, or just annoying, then you need to go! At first I worried about what people would think, but then I realized I didn't care. I also feel this way when I read blogs though too. It makes me feel bad because everything is always presented in a "done up" way, if you will. As in, staged for pictures and what not. Which I get, but it still leaves me feeling down if I let it. That even at my cleanest, there's still toys on the ground, or mail on the counter, and that everything doesn't have it's own "spot". But that's life with my 3 kids, and I keep trying to remind myself to relax a little and live for them......sorry. Stepping off my soap box for now.

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  55. I have mixed feelings about FB. I am like you, I mainly use it to post updates about our growing family (expecting a baby girl at the end of December!) and to pray when my friends are having a hard time (we even have a church page), but I don't understand why people have to post everything on there. And when people get on there and rant and rave about things makes me wanna delete them. Sure, I have bad days, but I don't think FB is the place to unleash your frustration. It also aggravates me when people post "advice" on their pages when they are the ones that need to take their own advice the most. I don't like snarky comments and posts. Then there are the people who like to shoot down your fun happy posts because they are probably miserable. Man, I am convincing myself to just delete the whole thing! LOL But really, I understand that it's the first thing you click on...I do that same. I keep up with my new great-nephew and my family I hardly ever see too. That is what it was created for in the first place, I think. People (and companies) are using it for their own personal agendas now. That's annoying.

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  56. I have contemplated deactivating for a couple of years now. Each time I get the itch I just go through another round of aggressice defriending instead. I am now down to about 60 "friends" and truth be told there a a few more that can go. Recently, my almost 70 year old mom came to me and asked me if I could look up a friend of hers from high school. I did and wouldnt you know I found her. I actually put my mom in touch with a high school friend of hers and I am so happy about that. The experience alone will probably keep me mildly facebook active forever.

    That and couponing...Tons of coupons on FB!

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  57. I let Facebook go in February and haven't regretted the frre time and peaceful thought I gained.God Bless.

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  58. You have no idea how timely this is for me! So glad I am not alone in feeling that way. I feel conflicted too, because I also love to share pictures etc with friends and family, and see what certain people are up to. I have hidden / unfriended a huge number of people lately, and I also took the app off my iPad (no smart phone for me yet but when I get one the app won't go on it.) I feel so free!!

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  59. I totally agree with you! I do look at Facebook regularly but seldom post things. One thing that really bothers me is having to "like" a bunch of things to enter a blog contest though. I want to enter but hate getting more stuff added to my feed that really doesn't pertain to me.

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  60. I was just having this same conversation this morning on Facebook messenger! LOL I'm a warts-and-all humorist, so my life is pretty much like it is - some of it's awesome and plenty is goofy or stupid (like wearing my slippers to run errands when I can coordinate a full run of drive-through only errands). I normally am very active politically, but this election season has put me off Facebook, political discussion, and actually, a few people I actually know in real life. I'm focusing on my blog and my upcoming business and getting each to grow and the politics are on the back burner for now, until we can get past this stupid election and can focus on actual issues again. :)

    Great topic! Have a good one!

    Kristy @ Shona Skye Creations
    http://shonaskye.blogspot.com

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  61. You have hit the nail on the head on this post. I totally agree with you, and have been known to be quite addicted to it myself. I just think when you post something, you should realize that it is going to be in the universe of the internet for ever and ever...I am now addicted to blogs and reading them, so it leaves me a lot less time to go on facebook. I am so glad someone else looks at it like I do. We must use rose colored glasses to survive. :)

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  62. Ha ha! I have to agree with so much of this! Yes I have a FB account but do I update it daily??? no Have I eliminated some folks? yes Why do I keep it open? I hear from relatives who i might not otherwise hear from. Am i seriously considering closing it down? yes but only if i can figure out how to keep a blog fb account. Am i seriously considering just using snail mail to keep up with family? most definitely! Good luck!

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  63. I’m a fan of facebook because I have been able to keep in touch with old friends and really have them as a part of my daily life again. It’s allowed me the opportunity to actually meet up with them in PERSON, too- I was able to let a friend in Florida know I’d be there on vacation and go visit her and her family while we were there. Another high school friend is now my family’s photographer. I live in another state from where I went to high school and I didn’t keep in touch with these friends AT ALL before facebook. Another friend from high school got me an opportunity to write on a blog she co-authors and helped me to rekindle my dream of becoming a writer (and she now lives in the same state as me too so we’ve met up for girl time). Another friend from ELEMENTARY school was in town for a conference so we had her and her husband (whom I had never gotten to meet) over for dinner and had a great time with them.

    I am terrible at keeping in touch with people, and I love how easy facebook makes it. I also love that if I’m thinking of a friend and want to send them some encouragement it’s as easy as a few clicks and keystrokes. I had two different friends this week tell me that something I sent them on facebook was an answer to their prayers.

    So as for me, I’ll probably stick with it till I die. As long as you do everything in moderation, I think it’s fine.

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  64. I was on FB for years and shut it off a few months ago. Some people post their opinions, particulary political ones, so often and so strongly. I just got sick of it. So, one morning I had enough, shut if off and never looked back. I have to say I feel free! I do miss reading some peoples' posts and seeing their pictures, but I still keep in touch with my "real friends". It actually helped me realize who are my actual friends and not just my "facebook friends".

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  65. Several months ago I was watching a business network discussing the opening stock value of FB. Their analysis of FB viability went like this: college kids start the trend, followed closely by 20somethings; high school kids copy to be like the college kids, eventually parents and grandparents join the trend. This is followed by college kids moving to a new trend b/c it has now lost it's cool factor. And, you guessed it, the cycle begins anew. Their example went like this: MySpace to Facebook to Twitter. The trend does not die, it just slowly loses it's value over time. Replaced by the newest trend. Oh, they also said it loses it's value b/c the ad dollars follow the young demographic. Humph. I could have sworn that as an "older" I,too, have money to spend. Oh we'll. Different subject for another day :)

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  66. I deactivated my account just before Christmas last year. No, it wasnt taking over my life, but I thought of it as eliminating the distraction. I honestly dont miss it! It has forced me to be more real in contacting and communicating with people.

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  67. I have never really been a fan of FB and actually took quite a long time to sign up (and only really did so because of my wedding!). However, after said wedding I never really logged in anymore so I deactivated it. Now, though, I'm about to have my first baby and am strongly considering signing back up because, as you said, it's a great place to share pictures with friends and family. It is quite a conundrum!

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  68. I LOVE this post, Sarah! Ugh, I could imagine how getting off FB would be so freeing... I've thought of doing it several times before!! But I use it to stay in touch with my family. I've found that unfriending people and/or changing who I see status updates from has at least made it a better experience. But I'm with you, I hate that whenever I get a free minute, I have to fight this urge to see "what's going on". I hate that, it feels so stupid!! I couldn't give up my business pages, but just this week I was thinking of taking it off my phone. I think I may do that. :) Thanks again for the post!

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  69. I just want to say, I have never had a fb account and never will and I am still alive to talk about it. You can live without FB, it is possible!! Think of all the free time you would have. People ask me all the time why I don't do facebook and your post has validated all the reasons I see why it's not necessary for life. YOU CAN DO IT, DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT!!

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  70. I don't have a facebook account. Never have and I'm so glad I don't. I've heard all the bad stuff from my friends and family that do have Facebook to not even want an account. With blogging, texting Facebook, Twitter and every other social network, I think everyone is up in everybody's business too much. Sometimes I think we all just need to be ourselves again and leave everyone else's life to them. I don't need to know EVERYTHING about EVERYBODY every second of their life and they don't need to know me that well either. Even your own mother shouldn't know every.single.part of your life. There is a thing called privacy that no one seems to respect anymore. Nobody has a real to themselves personal life anymore. If you fart crossways nowadays someone is bound to find out about it. Perhaps they can smell it through their screen too. Besides, if you really want to keep in touch with someone, whatever happened to picking up the phone and actually talking to them voice to voice, where they can hear the tone of how you are feeling? Or, how about stopping by for a visit and actually spending some time with that person who you claim to be friends with(of course that is if they are not in another state). As far as my friends and family in other states, I am interested in knowing that they are well, but I don't have to know their every move. I call when I want to talk. They call when they want to talk and they send pictures by mail. Real pictures that are not just stored on my computer, but ones that I can actually put in a frame or photo album. Truly I wish Facebook would go belly up. We don't need it!! It's causing more relationship problems than it's building. There is a bigger generation gap now than ever before and all because we don't make the effort to be a real friend and talk person to person or visit with each other like we should. Instead of having lunch together we are too busy wasting our time on Facebook and trying to find out the scoop on who's doing what and with whom instead of being the person who's doing what with whom.

    Anyway, there you have it, my thoughts on Facebook, not that you really wanted it, right.

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  71. I seriously never believed I would have a facebook account. We let our boys get one when they were 16 or 18 (I forget). At the time my hubby nor I were on, so we selected five adults of OUR choosing that they had to friend for accountability.

    One of the adults was the youth pastor at our church. We couldn't choose the pastor because my hubby IS the pastor and he wasn't on yet, lol!

    But our kids urged us to get an account and so did some friends.

    We finally caved, lol! I'm so glad I did because when my oldest went out of state to college it was pretty much the only way I could "see" him via pictures he posted. He didn't go on fb as much in college, too busy working and studying but occasionally he would post something.

    The relationships seem shallow, and in some ways they are. But they also afford you an opportunity to keep in touch with lots of people.

    I am just not going to pick up the phone and call 30 (and more) people every day. But via facebook I can see what they're up to and what prayer requests they have, and I can comment or send private messages that I'm praying for them or whatever.

    But I do have people on there and sometimes I think "Who ARE they?" because they're high school friend who now have a different last name, or bloggy friends who I haven't got used to their "real" names yet, lol!

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  72. I don't have FB, never have and doubt I ever will. My friends still try to get me on it. I do miss out on some pictures, but otherwise I don't feel like I am missing ANYTHING at all. Especially not updates from people I haven't been in touch with for eons, and frankly, don't care about or miss. Besides, its just one more electronic thing to keep me from doing something REAL.

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  73. I've been a reader of your blog for several years now & I've never left a comment before but this is a great post about Facebook, or as I like to refer to it, Twofaced book!! I purposely don't have the FB app on my phone and I try to limit my logins to a couple a day. I let most of the comments roll off my back but I have teenage nieces who almost go into panic attack if they don't get the response they want when they post something. I think the younger generation is putting too much importance on Facebook. And the older generations (at least my friends on FB) can certainly be very vicious and say things on Facebook that they don't have the guts to say to someone's face. I think it depends on the personality of the user as to which way Facebook is used - for the good or bad.

    Debbie S

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  74. Kimberly (berly02 at hotmail dot com)October 17, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    Years ago (I remember because my twins were babies and it seemed we were always up watching late night TV) Jimmy Kimmel urged his viewers to "trim the facebook fat." He once said something along the lines of "if you wouldn't loan them $50 or cry if they got hit by a bus, you should defriend them." It was funny - and oh, so true. That's my new FB criteria. And I 'm not ashamed to admit that I let lots (and I mean LOTS) of friend requests sit. If I deny their request, they can just re-request it. If I accept, I have to go to all the work of limiting my profile. So, they sit in FB friend limbo. =)

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  75. I don't have one and only very rarely feel left out. The main time I wish I had one is when bloggers do awesome giveaways where the only way to enter is through FB. I realize that's their perogative, but I feel kinda cheated. I already spend too much time online reading blogs and Pinterest, and I don't need something else to suck me in. Thanks for validating that!

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  76. I've been trying to limit my time online and especially on facebook. I mean, let's face it, in this day and age, we actually DEPEND and NEED the internet. It's helped a lot of people to learn how to do things (it's made me more of a DIY enthusiast, obviously), but I sat back and really thought, how much of someone's life do I need to know about at any given time? I need to live my own life. So I am. I deleted it off my phone and I try to really only check what's going on at night. I ignore the debate talk and political stuff. I generally post sarcasm and cute kid quips, but that's about as far as it goes. I try not to make my life seem more awesome or worse than it is. It's busy, and when I post something, it is generally to give someone else a little laugh in their day. I think we've become too dependent on it.

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  77. I like FB but I don't post on my personal page a lot. I try to post things every couple days on my blog's FB page. My mom swears FB is the "work of the devil" (not really) but people in my family sometimes use it, lets just say, not in a very nice or productive way. And then we have the people who are just braggy & annoying with it. I like to see pics of people we once knew but never really see anymore. It's nice to see pics of their kiddos and how they have grown. I'm with you on the political stuff this time of year. As frustrated as I am, I am trying my very best not to post anything political...it is soooo hard for me. I have to bite my tongue (or my fingers?) to keep from posting. My dear BIL on the other hand is driving me nuts! We have very different political views and his constant posts are making me feel like unfriending him right now! I guess, long story short (not!), I'm like you...it's a love/hate relationship. :)

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  78. I deleted mine a month or so ago and it's pretty freeing. Plus I feel like I can snottily say (with a fake British accent) "Facebook? Never, I do not share with the world." Except I've never said that bc that would be rude...

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  79. I deactivated my facebook account 2 weeks ago and I can not tell you how freeing it is! I cancelled it for all of the exact same reasons that have been mentioned here. I really dislike this new cultural "thing" about everyone needing to know what everyone is doing all the time. I'm only 27, but I can still remember back to a time when you just lived your life and just because you didn't have that weird compelling feeling to tell everyone and share pictures about it, didn't mean that whatever "it" was, held no meaning or value. It's like if you didn't post it on facebook, then it didn't happen, so you better post it! I just got really tired of it and I am so much happier without it. I even secretly enjoy being in the minority, like i've discovered this really awesome and freeing life while everyone is still addicted to facebook, ha!

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  80. I think the key is to keep it to close friends and family, stay away during political debates, and just have a few "friends" for the trainwreck entertainment value so it doesn't get boring. ;)

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  81. Ahh great thoughts on a very interesting subject. I like it for some of the same reasons you do. But I'm almost jealous of my friends who do not post that often - I think they must have better things to do with their time. I'm slowly trying to back off from it. I work at a computer all day so it is very easy to check it all. day. long. So, wish me luck! Maybe one day I'll actually not care about it anymore :o)

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  82. So I followed your advice and decided to clean house on my crackbook page. I just got to below 500 friends and it feels awesome!!

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  83. i gave up FB 2 years ago and i love it. I still pop on sometimes to 'stalk' a few friends but otherwise i am SO glad not to be a part of it. I know there is lots of good, but i saw too many marriages ruined by "friending" old flames and reuniting only to lead to affairs. And, i got a little tired of the drama, and knowing who was hungover on what day...etc. I like seeing peoples pictures, but am glad to be one of the very few people that don't have a FB account. :-) Great Post, by the way!! :-)

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  84. I've never had a facebook account for all the above reasons. If I'm not in contact with someone in real life, then I am not going to spend time being caught up in thier business online. I don't want people knowing what I'm doing all the time either. And, yes, I do get harassed by my friends who are on facebook to join. It's like a cult.

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  85. If it wasn't for Facebook, I would have never reunited with a boyfriend from high school who is now my husband. My sister, who is MANY years younger than I am, convinced me that I just HAD to have a Facebook account. So after many weeks of harassing, she set one up for me. One sleepless night I found myself playing around on it and found a FB group for my high school. I reconnected with friends I hadn't talked to in years, included an ex-boyfriend. We started "talking" on FB, then personal emails, and then phone calls. The rest is history! We are now married and have a son and I can't imagine my life without either of them! Yes, it can be addicting and people totally overuse it, but I love it to stay in touch with friends and family that live all over the world. It makes me feel closer to them to see their lives in pictures. =)

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  86. I don't FB and doubt I will. I knew it would just suck my time, so I never got into it. I still believe in the power of a call or lunch to catch up. I use twitter, and the political tweets are kind of driving me insane. I feel like saying "Just because you like that guy doesn't mean I do and I'm not an idiot for not liking that guy."

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  87. I thought I was the only person left under the age of 80 who doesn't "do" facebook. It's great for job interviews where potential employers could decide they dislike my opinions or viewpoint or photos or something.. ( which I'd keep to myself at work anyway) Yes I 've heard of this happenning. Otherwise I find it frustrating when I can't enter a contest or obtain a coupon unless I like a company- I know people who have over a thousand facebook friends ( most who they've never met) some who abuse it by hanging out there all day while pretending to be present at work and some who just use it to share photos or timely updates ( eg about the friend in the hospital) Still I think I'll stay facebook free for now I can always email the people who I care about enough to share my photos with

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  88. Great post Sarah. I think FB is mostly a glorious waste of time and most pages read as year round Christmas Brag Letters. Gag.
    However, isn't social media required for a successful blog?! I have a "fake" FB page because most blog contests, coupons, etc REQUIRE it! So don't bite the hand that feeds that bee u tee ful boy of yours!

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  89. Great post Sarah. I think FB is mostly a glorious waste of time and most pages read as year round Christmas Brag Letters. Gag.
    However, isn't social media required for a successful blog?! I have a "fake" FB page because most blog contests, coupons, etc REQUIRE it! So don't bite the hand that feeds that bee u tee ful boy of yours!

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  90. Sarah, this is a great post and timely too with the election. I totally agree with everything you said. It's so annoying to hear people rattle on about their political opinions. I'd like to think I'm pretty balanced on Facebook. I have several photos without makeup that are not my best pics (but they're real life) and I share fun, exciting stuff as well as crazy things like the fact that our de-humidifer overflowed and soaked our carpet or something funny that happened. I'm really over these people (usually younger) that go out of their way to take pics just so they can post them to Facebook-it's a bit narcissistic. I have my own nickname for it-I call it Bragbook. I actually went off of it and temporarily closed my account for 6 months. I blogged about it and called it my Facebook Sabbatical. ;)

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  91. I don't FB and never will. I think there is more bad to it than good. You have to literally knock at my door to be let into my life, and I absolutely prefer it that way.

    I do like blogging as a way of diary-keeping, though.

    Sue

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  92. What a well written thought provoking post! I am actually one of the few that does NOT have an account. I work in a field where I felt I needed my personal life to be private and in the beginning was concerned about friend requests that I couldn't ethically accept but now I really do get sad when I realize I have missed something. A pretty close friend of ours had a baby and all the updates were on facebook and it was a full 24 hours before our family knew! Also, I must say it is disappointing because so many blog giveaways that I love to enter require you to "like" the page and that is impossible without an account. Just my personal experience but interesting to see what your other readers have to say as well. I can only imagine what it will be like in several years when my kids are older and more aware...

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  93. Oh gosh this post made me literally laugh out loud! Girl - I told my hub last night that I might have to deactivate my account until this election is over - the updates during the debate were killing me!

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  94. I gave up facebook for Lent one yr. It was horrible.

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  95. No FB for me...never signed up, probably never will.
    I've already been to high school.
    Seriously though...If I really care about someone I will CALL them, or at the least, email them, and vice-versa. I really don't want to know what they ate for breakfast. : )

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  96. Great post, it's all so true. I deactivated my FB account about 8 months ago and haven't looked back. I thought it would be really hard to go without it (sad, I know), but I didn't like the way it had me feeling a lot of the time. Concerned about people I barely knew and what they might think of me, the phony realities that people posted about, and I was spending WAY too much of my time glued to it. I am really happy to be without it, it just works better for me :)

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  97. Yep, Sarah-- you said it all. I posted recently about the same feelings.

    I didn't deactivate my account, because I want that connection with a few people I've moved away from and I will lose it otherwise, BUT

    I try to basically, hardly EVER get on. Like, maybe once a month or even less, like once every few months. I'm happier without it. I just. . . am. :)

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  98. I like how you described Facebook as Crackbook because it is addicting at times. After reading your post I am going to pair down my so called "friends" list.

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  99. a few months ago, I decided that I would remove my account. two weeks later I was back because I cannot tell you how many people called or texted me during that time and said "did you see the photos from my trip?" or "did you see that so-and-so is pregnant?"

    it only took two weeks for me to realize that Facebook and social media really is necessary to keep up to date with your friends/family. I won't give it up again anytime soon. :)

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  100. I am on FB all the time. I play loads of the games...it all started after having 6 surgeries in two years. I began playing online and of course not just some wallflower standing on the sideline I began chatting up people, shared a few jokes and created a few farms, zoos, killed a few Mafia members etc. I have found tons of extended family (for real family) and have been able to share photos for a genealogy book I have been writing on our family. It is both good and bad...loads of hours wasted.

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  101. Hello! Hope you don't mind; I just HAD to share your post on FB today. Who knows? You may just get more followers from the share!

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  102. I'm usually just a blog stalker and rarely post, though I LOVE your site. I couldn't resist commenting on this though. I do not FB, nor will I ever FB. I enjoy my privacy, and choose who I share info, pics, details with. FB is a lie... I just don't understand the fascination with it. But here's what frustrates me the most. I'm a PTA President for an elementary school. We have a website and a FB page, maintained by on of our VP's who is addicted (and bipolar). Parents will use OUR FB page to vent and post nasty, hateful things about something they don't like about the school or PTA. I'm talking about the red-dye nazis and folks who complain that there aren't enough parking places at the school after a big event like a fall festival. Never do we get a thank you for all we do. Never do people say they appreciate the things we provide to the school or students. Never do they take the time to thank the unpaid volunteers who bust their buns every.single.day. And you can bet they complain if our NON-PROFIT organization didn't have the Grandparent Breakfast catered or if we ran out of coffee at a FREE event. People can be so rude. No one can convince me that FB doesn't suck. But it gives me hope for our society to read other's comments and know that we're not all addicted, and that people realize its not healthy and eventually quit. Great topic. Thanks for letting us all vent ;)

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  103. I have a FB account, but I never update it(not even a profile pic - I'm actually still a little blue man!). I rarely go on there because, frankly, it depresses me. It seems as though everyone else is out doing fun things and I'm stuck with laundry, dishes, homeschooling, etc. In reality, I have a full and very lovely life. I just stay away because it make me feel like I don't measure up and I really want to develop a heart of gratitude for all the blessings God has given me:)

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  104. Hi Sarah! This is my first comment on your blog as well, and I must say I'm a huge fan of yours :) I took an 18 month Facebook hiatus, and I didn't miss it a bit. I'm a military wife, and while my husband was serving overseas, I got an unusual alert saying that someone was trying to log into my account from a foreign country. I didn't want to compromise his or our family's security. Creepy!!

    Unfortunately, I am a photographer getting ready to open my own business, and everyone I know says Facebook, Twitter, etc. is crucial to marketing! So here I am again, back on the wagon. Really? Can my online portfolio not speak for itself? However, I've booked 6 sessions in 6 weeks from friends who have shared my work on Facebook. Sigh.

    When I reactivated my account, I unfriended about 1/2 of my friends. I read somewhere that a large part of that group is the user's high school classmates anyway. Like you, if I hadn't talked to them in awhile they were axed!

    Just recently, I had to stand up and defend my 13 yr. old daughter, who is not a Fbook user, against a group of adults who publicly humiliated and bullied my daughter via Facebook. It was shocking! About 10 adults, over the course of 4 hours, bashed my daughter with over 105 comments. The sad thing, is these people have never met her or us! These people are affiliated with a sport our daughter competes in! We've even taken this matter to the authorities! It's heartbreaking, really.

    Thank you for sharing this post!

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  105. I couldn't have said it better myself. You put my thoughts into words.

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  106. Cristin, that is HORRIBLE! And Karen, yes, for many businesses that is the norm. It has become the customer service page for many -- people complain a LOT on FB pages. I never visit the pages of businesses I follow because of all the negativity.

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  107. Never had a FB acct. mainly because:
    1. FB owns it and you really don't know what they will do with your info. or how hey sell it, etc.
    2. My sister would not be getting a divorce now if her husband wasn't constantly getting stroked by other women every time he posts some lame thing.
    3. I don't feel I miss out. I like simplifying my life, not feeling guilty for "missing out" or having to keep up appearances.
    4. I meet once a month for a mom's night out, and the rest of the group already knows what everyone has been up to, so there is no 'catching up' which is the purpose of getting together!
    5. We have a family Sunday brunch and my sisters are glued to there phones and pads! What message is this sending to the kids? I would love it if they would just enjoy lovely conversation amongst our family.
    6. I am very involved in my son's school and have soo many real friends.
    7. My life is so great that sometimes I feel that no one would believe me if it were posted on FB!!!
    Really love you, Sarah!

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  108. The ONLY reason, I repeat ONLY reason I ever got on FB is because our two military sons said "Mom. Get on FB so we don't have to send you lengthy emails with important pictures that we're putting on FB for everyone else!" (Yeah, it sounded like an order. LOL!)

    So yes, I look at FB every day. I want to see what my sons and their families are up to (and maybe they've posted something) because I love them. I'm a FB friend with only one of my own siblings and no other family members. I hear from often enough.

    When my friend list got to about 20, I decided it was time to unfriend a MANY of them. Not because I don't like them in person. It was because FB becomes too time consuming reading everyone's posts.

    I actually limit my FB friends to about 10.

    I do post my business blog posts as well only because apparently people do read those..haha!

    Honestly given a choice, I would rather telephone than use FB for personal contacting. FB is just too public even with as many private settings as you can use!

    I will frequently "go off the grid" with email, FB, etc. It's a good thing :-)

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  109. I have never had an account and never will. If we like someone enough to keep in touch, I'll e-mail and call. I've never missed knowing what everyone is making for supper, etc...

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  110. I'm one of those that HATES Facebook! I just don't "get it", I guess. I especially don't get it as it relates to my blog! My geeky husband said that "there are a gazillion people on Facebook and it's important that your blog has a presence there". But how does being on FB send those gazillion people to my itsy bitsy blog???

    Another peeve is to find out really important stuff via facebook that someone really should have called us ON THE PHONE - the old fashioned way i.e. we found out our daughter in law "found a lump" via Facebook! Seriously??????

    I'll get off my soap box now!

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  111. My thoughts exactly! FB is the land of extremes: "My life is so much better than yours" OR "My life stinks and I want you to be miserable with me" Thanks for your insight and wit. :-)

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  112. You are sooooooo right. Facebook can be such a good thing but it seems like when it's bad...it's REALLY bad. Like a...leaves you feeling yucky, kind of bad. I did totally stay off of it for a while. It was wonderful. I did miss out on a few things but not much. You have inspired me...it may be time to cut way back. (Now...where did I put that self-control?) ;)

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  113. ACK!! I can't even explain to you how much I hear you. I did a list clearing last year ... and had the exact same thought. How silly that I'm worried about people I don't really even know not liking me because I unfriended them on FB. hahaha But, the flip side is I am closer to most of my cousins because of it ... they are younger than I am and I moved away from 'home' before they were old enough that we were at ages we could relate to each other. Now ... they're coming down to Curacao for a visit ... and as silly as it sounds I credit fb. But hardly ever post, more comment on other status'. I"m like a passive aggressive fb'er. ;)

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  114. I am 30 years old and I have never been on facebook. First I started hearing about the difficulties of other infertile women who found it was merely an avenue for them to be constantly made unhappy by the pregnancy announcements of women they barely knew (and whose children would play no role in their lives). Then it became clear that I would be inundated with "friends" from high school about whom I've not thought (nor vice versa) since graduation. Then I started reading the articles about how facebook promotes resentment, isolation, and depression.

    I tip my hat to those who have signed on only to maintain regular communication with friends or relatives who are overseas and difficult to call. Social media are tools, which can, always, be used for good or evil. Use your powers for good!

    To those who signed on "for MY wedding" or "for the birth of MY baby" - this might be a sign that you need to rethink some things. If you're an adult and you think that humility is a moral value, any priority system that makes "advertising myself" (which should be distinguished from promoting a business for the sake of generating income; we need to support ourselves) a basis for decisions indicates some serious problems.

    I think that's where Facebook starts to go off the rails (and from what I can tell, it has long gone off the rails in the case of most users). We're brittle - some of us have mental health problems or are naturally sensitive (or both), and everyone finds themselves more vulnerable at certain points in their lives. Seeing everyone else pretending to have a perfect life is going to do a major and unnecessary injury to people who are thus vulnerable. But I think that's minor compared to the injury done to those collecting the adulation, and madly advertising their lives. Because that injury is a moral one. With every bit of your energy you invest in marketing your life and building a personal fan base, you travel another step away from being a person who is sufficient unto himself (or herself), who consults bedrock principles in making devisions, whose happiness is grounded in an abiding peace, and who can be relied upon to do the right things for the right reasons. I'm pretty sure you can either be a heavily-invested facebooker, or emotionally and spiritually mature - not both.

    My $.02.

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  115. Lol, the dichotomy of facebook. It's good to face it though. If you never face it, but use facebook constantly, then I'd be a little worried. Thanks for the wit laced post. And yes I wish I could go facebook free. But the business coaches say its necessary!!!

    Shirley
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/ABowForMama

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  116. I really enjoy FB (and the "hide" feature!). We live far far away from most of my family and I love that they are able to still "know" my son and what he is up to each day. I tried a blog for him, but it is easier to just post to facebook :)

    Maybe it is just the people I know but people don't seem too over the top happy on there. I post about both the good (baby got his first tooth!) and the bad (why oh why is baby awake at 5am!) My grandparents are all on FB (in their 80s) and so enjoy being able to keep up with busy grandkids without calling every day!

    When I think back to my mom writing a letter each week to her parents with all of what we were up to and then maybe calling long distance once a month...I am thrilled I have more instant contact with family far away!

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  117. I don't have a FB account. I take the word "FRIEND" very seriously and it is true that I can count my "FRIENDS" on one hand... I hate that FB uses the word friend. Real friends are the ones that come running when you need them most. My best friend drove three hours once to tell me my horrible haircut looked fabulous!!! That is a friend. All the others are my colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances from things I am involved in. If I could divide my list into the groups above, I might consider joining. Can I do that???

    I also struggle tremendously with putting photos of kids out there for everyone to see. My three kids are the cutest kids in the world, but I am not ready to plaster them all over the web. I still send photos to those I think need to see my kids with an envelope and a postage stamp!

    But, sometimes I feel like I am fighting a losing battle... Do I need to do it to keep up with technology and whatever it is that is coming next? Help me!!!

    Amanda

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  118. I was rather addicted to it myself, so much so that I took a year off from 2010-2011. Once I came back, I edited my list from 250"friends" to 79. I use it much differently now, I chat with a friend almost everyday who is chronically ill and another I became reaquainted with on FB. I wouldn't have those 2 friendships without FB. I NEVER use the check in feature, my privacy settings are at the highest settings and I don't use it to brag on my child (even tho she's a great kid) I don't believe in posting my political beliefs or to rant and rave but I never did that stuff before. I am not on it nearly as much and no longer addicted.
    SInce your lil guy is so young I think it's important far away relatives get to see him, I would hesitate to close it down to family for that reason. It's just too handy.

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  119. Wow, well said. I feel the same tug and pull as you do but I feel tied to it because I need to run my blog's page. It's a good source of traffic so I have to keep it going. Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to know someone else is just like me! :)

    http://EmbracingBeauty.com

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  120. I am in the tiny minority of people who never have, never will do Facebook. My sister-in-law once posted on Facebook about her daughter being in the hospital before she had bothered to call and let Grandma and Grandpa or the rest of us know. Needless to say, Grandma was distraught after hearing it from someone at church! My husband and I both like to keep our lives private and we still share info and photos the old-fashioned way ( snail mail or e-mail!) I'm just not comfortable having my information out there for anyone to access.

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  121. I actually got off FB about 3 years ago, and it was SUCH A RELIEF!! I felt like I had to keep up with everyone all the time, and it was exhausting! I dont really want to know everything about everyone all the time. I almost felt like I had to carry the burden of other people's lives. I also felt like I could do without the shameless narcissistic attitude of so many people on there. If I saw another picture of someone posing with fish lips, I could scream. Dont miss it!!!

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  122. ROFL!!!! I love this! This might just be my most favorite post of urs!! Now, as the reigning Queen of all things DIY and crafty don't hate me for saying that. but this is all SO TRUE!!! And my sister deactivated her account the other day and I was just so baffled as to why, but I totally get it now.

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  123. I have a facebook page for my Etsy shop but refuse to use it on a personal level- never have and never plan to. Guess I'm just a private person. My husband is the same (and barely turns on the computer so the fact that I can sit in front of a computer for two hours straight reading blogs is baffling to him!)

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  124. Hi! I very much enjoy reading your blog!

    I'll preface this by saying I'm in my late 20s. I used to have facebook but deleted it a few years back. It was becoming a bad habit. I felt so out of the loop at first but I'm so glad now and can honestly say I despise fb now.

    Hand down, my biggest complaint is people posting pictures of other people. Just because it's a photo in your (talking general here) camera doesn't mean it's ok to show the world. It used to be you'd go to a b-day party where you saw close family and friends. You'd take photos and they'd go in an album on the coffee table or in a box somewhere. Only your family and friends saw them. Not they're immediately posted on someone's fb page. It doesn't seem to matter if the person WANTS to be on there or not. I think it's so rude and everybody seems to do it. I'm to the point where I'm about to stop allowing my photo being taken. Don't even get me started on 'tagging'.

    Too many people don't bother to learn how to control their settings and then add tons of people they barely know. Then wonder why someone gets mad when they're posting photos of other people on there. A lot of people are just plain nosey. I was too when I had it.

    It's nice to run into someone you haven't seen in a few years and actually be able to sincerely ask how they're doing without already knowing they have three kids and baked an apple pie for dessert last night.

    Don't get me wrong, I believe it can be a good thing but IMO, I don't see it being used that way too often.

    Rant over. :)

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  125. I get on FB in the morning. First thing I check. I always feel so guilty. I feel like I should be reading the Bible. (True story.) It doesn't really matter because, If I am not on FB I am reading every ones blog. So, either way. I am still on the computer.
    The whole political thing, Will anyone ever be happy with the state our country is in. I don't read those comments anymore. I can't wait until we vote and it is over. Or, will it be over? Someone is bound to be unhappy.
    Such is life. :-)

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  126. http://www.hgtv.com/handmade/how-to-make-a-chicken-wire-cloche-for-halloween/index.html

    I saw this and thought of you!

    ara



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  127. I hate hate Facebook but it does have its purpose. I keep in contact with friends and family members.
    My Sister's Friend is missing And we started a Facebook page to share information and to get the word out. What started out as a good thing escalated into a nightmare for us and my family. There are people who are ill or mean and will post anything nasty about the victim and their family all the way to young children. Mostly by adult women. It was so horrible her family and friends including my sister and I were targeted by total strangers. Two large news papers one in Chicago and St. Louis did a article on it. My Sister has went on to be a activist for the missing. Her friend is still missing after two years. I seldom use it. I only post happy things. I will delete someone in a second if they use Facebook as a weapon. But it has taught me gossip creates harm and before I ever say a word I think about how my words create harm. Beth Bentley still missing 21/2 years later

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  128. I hate hate Facebook but it does have its purpose. I keep in contact with friends and family members.
    My Sister's Friend is missing And we started a Facebook page to share information and to get the word out. What started out as a good thing escalated into a nightmare for us and my family. There are people who are ill or mean and will post anything nasty about the victim and their family all the way to young children. Mostly by adult women. It was so horrible her family and friends including my sister and I were targeted by total strangers. Two large news papers one in Chicago and St. Louis did a article on it. My Sister has went on to be a activist for the missing. Her friend is still missing after two years. I seldom use it. I only post happy things. I will delete someone in a second if they use Facebook as a weapon. But it has taught me gossip creates harm and before I ever say a word I think about how my words create harm. Beth Bentley still missing 21/2 years later

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  129. I do the same thing from time to time to clear out of my list. :)

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  130. I totally agree with everything you're saying. I don't post much either (just pics of the kids for friends, family) but I love seeing updates from my friends. And living in different towns, I'm grateful for the chance to be a part of their everyday life. There just has to be limits and boundaries, as with everything else in life. Love your blog!

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  131. I use FB far more for buying/selling on several local online garage sale groups than keeping up w/the Joneses, Smiths & Garcias. Sometimes I forget to even look at my actual news feed and I have met so many great people from the garage sales groups that I spend more 'in real life' time with them than my "real friends". It is a nice way to pass time in waiting rooms since I would rather catch up on friend's lives than Katie & Tom's latest custody issues.

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  132. I just watched the movie Social Media, so I'm feeling a little icky like I don't want to use it anymore. I will say I use it to follow alot of blogs now and I like that. I dont' care for all the whining people do, I unsubscribe from alot of people. I think the thing that bothers me the most is how people post everything about their child, a pic here and there is great but when your child breaks it's nose or is on their way in an ambulance or falls and is crying, put your phone down and take care of the kid. I wonder what this generation will be like, they have their own little paparazzi following them around and it's their parents. Not everything is worthy of a picture!!! Ok, I got my 2 cents in and yes, totally agree with you!

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  133. I first got on facebook five years ago when my oldest son went to college, and he would communicate with me via facebook which was wonderful. Plus I have family literally all over the world, so it's a great way to connect with them and see pictures. I think you make your facebook page what you want it to be. I've tried to keep mine positive and use it to encourage people. Yes, I probably spend too much time checking fb, but the truth is, we all spend our time doing things whether it be blogging, pinterest, twitter, instagram, texting, emailing or whatever. It's a personal preference. And we don't have to do any of it. But facebook puts a smile on my face (that sounds so corny but it's true) in some way every day, so I will keep it up. :-)

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  134. It's like you typed the words from my head! This is exactly how I feel about FB! I deactivated for election season, but I'm thinking about staying off until after the holidays, so I can "be" in my actual life- enjoying every minute- instead of reading about everyone else's. In general, I think FB is a bad thing.

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  135. OMG! This post definitely resonated with some of the feelings I've been having the past year or so. So I joined up back in the days where you had to have an .edu account. It started out only being college buds. Now EVERYONE is on. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins and a couple grandparents (who all have very different politics then me...). My grandfather actually blasted on facebook that my grandma died and that was when I quit facebook. I just couldn't stand all the noise and spam that facebook generates.

    My cousin ranted about how people who quit facebook are being selfish... I think facebook is just one giant ball of selfish goo. Aren't we all being selfish every time we post? We are either bragging about the good things or complaining about the bad things. I've found that facebook generally makes you hate the people you know, whereas twitter, google+ and pinterest make you love the people you don't know. I think I was really able to quit facebook because of my pinterest addiction.

    I posted on facebook the other day because I had something going on in my life these past 3 months and wanted to share that. I saw phonies post something like, "was wondering where you were!" Yeah, right! Like you actually thought about me. Someone I haven't seen in person in years. Yeah...

    The other thing that really worries me about facebook is how you don't own your information. There are websites that I sometimes go to that have pictures of girls and I can totally imagine them being purchased from facebook and photo-shopped to be more appealing... And now that employers and credit checkers are looking you up on facebook... I just think its bad bad bad.

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I LOVE your comments, thank you! (I read every single one.)

If you have a specific question I will do my best to answer you back here! Be sure to check out the FAQs tab at the top of the site and my Projects page for paint colors and DIY projects as well.

THANKS so much for reading!