Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Give yourself a break

So a couple weeks ago, I had one of those moments. I honestly don’t remember what got me so upset, but my husband had been out of town for days, I had forgotten something for the Bub’s school, I had overextended myself blog-wise and I was just feeling like a bad mom and wife in general. Just one of those days.

I was talking to myself (I do that a lot) and lamenting all the things I had done wrong that day and really just beating myself up about it. And then I started crying (just great), which is not something I do often.

So I’m standing in the middle of the bedroom, crying, and I it just hit me – I told myself (yes…out loud) to just give myself a break.

My husband was gone and during the fall that was a common occurrence (he’s retired from teaching music but as busy as ever with other stuff) and you know what – like always, I was handling things by myself and doing a decent job of it. I needed to give myself a break.

This blog is now my “job” and I love it so dang much, but there are times that it gets stressful. And then I beat myself up for even thinking that this perfectly perfect job is stressful sometimes. Like that means I’m not grateful for it. But I need to give myself a break. Every job has stress.

And although I don’t feel like a bad mom often, I do hate when I don’t stay on top of things for my son. But in the end, he’s an incredibly happy, well adjusted kid. And that night he went to bed content and without a care in the world, and that is all that matters to me at the end of the day.

I thought about all of us women – I believe the men in our lives stress just as much (you may not realize it but they do), but I think we expect every aspect of what we do to be pretty darn perfect, and our men take it a little easier on themselves.

So, as we roll into the holiday season I wanted to remind you all to GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

The past two years I’ve not had time to write out and send Christmas cards:

It is STUPID how bad that makes me feel. Like I failed at Christmas.

I didn’t. Santa still came. Joy was had. My friends still know we exist. :)

I always like to hand write my cards – but this year maybe I’ll print out address labels and do the photo card. Or not. Either way, life will go on.

I LOVE holiday traditions but they can get out of hand. There’s only so much time in the day people! So our Elf doesn’t get into crazy antics (although I enjoy seeing what he does at other houses):

Elf on the Shelf, my nemesis

And sometimes…sometimes, he stays in the same spot two (three!) nights in a row. Mama has stuff to do. I may not be able to pull that off this year though, the boy is getting older and smarter. (Last year was stretching it.)

I always have grand plans for baking and cooking and trying new recipes and entertaining like a BOSS…but then the day of the party comes and I end up throwing together my cheater cookies that are just as yummy and festive:

Easiest Christmas cookies, ever

And the elaborate recipe I was going to try out ends up being frozen meatballs in the slow cooker.

But you know what? Who cares?? People are fed and it’s good. Give yourself a break.

This is just a friendly reminder – think of me as the tiny voice in your head this holiday season. Take care of yourself. Try to take it easy. Cut yourself some slack. It will be wonderful, even if the Elf on the Shelf actually stays on the shelf. ;)

72 comments:

  1. You definintely need a break! Everybody has those moments but you are doing a awesome job on this blog! This is one of my absolute favorite blogs because it is updated on a regular basis but you don't have to post everyday during the week. I know I couldn't do what you do and blog everyday! Be happy and I hope you have a great week!

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  2. You are so sweet, I appreciate that so much! I love writing this blog. :) You have a great week too!

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  3. I think we can all relate to this, my husband was out of town yesterday, I had to miss my daughter's choir concert because her performance didn't start until 8:00 and I didn't know how the baby would do past his bedtime, so I felt bad for missing it, bad that I had to get him up at 10:00 p.m. to pick up his sister, I failed at an easy DIY spray painting job and then I found myself not being able to fall asleep because of all the things coming up due to the holidays! Thanks for the reminder I think all of us, especially in the creative field need to give ourselves a break!!

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  4. Great advice and timely too! Before all the stressing begins ;) Thanks for sharing and keeping it real. I love your blog!

    Hope your Wednesday is blessed,
    Sherri

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  5. I think what your feeling is so normal. Not to mention great advice as we are entering into the holidays and all us MOMs, Wives, friends, you name it and our titles are in great demand : ) god bless you and I hope that your holidays this year will be stress free… Thanks for this post.

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  6. I'm glad you've had this revelation! It's more important to spend time doing something fun over the holidays than to send out Christmas cards when most are going to be thrown in the trash in a few weeks. I don't fret about Christmas cards anymore, especially because our oldest daughter doesn't even make it home until a day or 2 before Christmas, so we would rather wait until she is here to take a family photo and then send them out as a New Years greeting. Give yourself a break this holiday season (and throughout the year) You are doing more than enough!

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  7. Love this message! I certainly need to allow myself more breaks in life. I beat myself up pretty good sometimes and it's not necessary. You definitely deserve a break for sure!!! Glad you realized that, and even more, glad you shared with us.

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  8. Thank you for the reminder! I'm getting ready for Christmas (Thanksgiving is at grandma and grandpa's, amen!), and am finding myself at that point where I seem to go hurtling out of control in my brain, with all the "want to do" things getting jumbled up with all the "need to do" things. We're hosting my husband's family get together this year, so an occasional reminder helps so much when I need to stop, regain a little perspective, focus on what I can do right now. I'm baking cakes to put into the freezer for cake balls later (I do not make the wonderfully decorated ones, lol! No time for that at this point in life), cookie dough will be next- I have *finally* realized at 40 years old that these are the small things that can be done now, allowing "more" to get done later, without the extra (exhausting) mess.I'm cleaning out and organizing with decorating in mind- and thinking that I will start decorating, at least upstairs!

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  9. This is where I was last spring homeschooling six children and chasing a toddler and nursing a newborn. I don't know why we think we have to be perfect. This is a great reminder that as long as our family feels loved we've done our job.

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  10. Yes! I needed this! (And I completely believe you did, too!!). We just moved into a new house and I put all this pressure like everything needs to be redone immediately. With the holidays coming up..? No. Thank you for saying this! By the way, I am astounded at what you can do in a week! I would be dead by the end of the day if I tried to do everything you do. You are amazing! I made a few ornaments and did some Christmas crafting yesterday and today I am like, ugh I am exhausted. I am in awe of you!

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  11. Thanks for the reminder...with three active kiddos under 5 I feel snowed under quite a bit (though I do love this busy time overall!) and sometimes I really just need to be not so hard on myself! Hard to remember though :)

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  12. This is exactly why Im doing everything I can to get my life in order before the new year rolls in. This year has been extremely rough. As someone who has always had people to take care of (and super stressed in the process), Im no longer in that position - our foster baby was taken from us cause we stopped doing what the mom asked. My 6 (step)kids are now living with their mom and my mommy (who was living with us) recently passed away from lung cancer. Its like I have all this "free" time and I don't know what to do with myself - until a few days ago. Being a bit OCD doesn't help but Im going to work on that too. So on that not, Im taking the steps needed to ensure I take care of myself and handle what I can while not focusing on what I have no control over. Lord willing, 2014 is going to ROCK!! Woot! Woot! Sometimes in the midst of it all, we have to learn how to put ourselves on - time out!

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  13. I hear you! The Tooth Fairy is often three days late at our house; I didn't feel like staying in the cold to see the Remembrance Day parade, only to find out later my daughter carried the Girl Guides flag for the group and I just put my dog on dry dog food after making her food for over a year. None of these are in any way holiday related, but I know that's coming too your post is a timely reminder. We may not be perfect, but I think we are all pretty terrific generally, don't you?!

    Jenn@ Jenns Crafty World

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  14. This couldn't have come at a better time. I dropped off my kids today and cried because I had yelled at them and forgotten things for them and the hubz is out of town and I felt like a failure. I wanted to turn around, pick them up and go home for a snuggle day, and I know that they are over it WAY before I am, but that mom guilt is there and I'm on the verge of weeping at any moment today. I don't know why we feel the overwhelming need to be "perfect", but we do. So, thanks for reminding me to give myself permission to be imperfect. I needed it.

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  15. I'm a fellow central Indiana resident, and recently found out that over 50% of women in an irregular time zone area (which we are in, hello, sunrise occurring after 8am is just not right!) have Seasonal Affectivity Disorder. For weeks I felt like you described in this post and then I started taking Vitamin D, and now I only ever cry and get overwhelmed if I forgot to take it, and I never believed in vitamins or supplements before. It's made the transition to life in this state and time zone a lot easier for me!

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  16. You're so right, Sarah! I think we all know this, but it's good to have a reminder sometimes :)

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  17. What a fantastic reminder! We lose sight of what matters so easily. In the midst of living in a new town, restoring a 110 year old house, and being a newlywed, my mom said the most perfect thing to me the other day: you don't have to do it all in your FIRST year. It was just what I needed to hear!

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  18. Well said! It's impossible to do it all and I put pressure on myself to somehow make it all happen. I'll have to remember this post when I'm feeling stressed!

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  19. kathleen@kathleen435@optonline.netNovember 20, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    The bub is never ever going to say i wish my mom would have.... because he is a happy, content great little guy because you know the important things in life that should never come before him like housework, or a perfect from scratch cookie. yes its all nice, but that can all get done when he goes off on his own.
    Sit down and read to him, its always worth the time
    thanks for a great blog and keeping it all in perspective

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  20. Of course the Elf is adorable but it's really just a count down to Christmas and do kids need to be more excited about Christmas?!!! Prolly not, the excitement makes them a little crazy anyway. I buy Market Day cookies already shaped they just need to be baked and we decorate that's the fun part! We always drink egg nog and do the tree. Everyone puts 5 ornaments on the tree. I do the rest because I like it, no one else cares. I LOVE the tree. And we have one of those advent calendars we do. As your kids get older those things seem to mean more to them. Do what you love about Christmas and forget the rest! If you don't like to do cards, don't.

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  21. Awesome post and a great reminder for us all! :)

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  22. Thank you for this! You bloggers make it all look so easy and I'm glad to hear you are human too. Have a stress free Happy Thanksgiving!

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  23. EXACTLY! Last year I wanted to do my first craft show. I cancelled because my daughter's health issues took up just enough of me that it wasn't worth my sanity. Then I did the unthinkable! Yes, every year, for as long as I can remember, I have sent out Christmas cards. And for the past eight (?) do the cards (Exposures) with a photo of the girls on it. I didn't do that either. I felt bad--at first--then knew that there just wasn't time to get a shot I was happy with, choose the one, order the pictures, fill the cards (with even more pics--all our family is in another state), and mail them out. I will this year, however, I am going to blow a wad of money on the easy 3 piece tree. I am so tired of putting in each seperate branch after fixing the needle sprays, laying the lights--ugh! We have a 3-piece in our lower level and it is heaven (my tree) so this year that will be a break for me :) And I will happily do our tradition of sugar cookies. the girls love frosting and decorating those things!

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  24. Sometimes I think we do so much that we expect more and more of ourselves. It's good to get perspective.

    I appreciate you sharing from you heart today. :)

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  25. I LOVE this! You are so right on!! I have let my blog slide, and am so fortunate to be able to do so! I usually operate as a single parent of my almost 7 yr old, and totally relate to what you are saying. I have finally given myself permission to cut myself a break, and get off the crazy hamster wheel I have been running on for so long! My hubs is a commercial and military pilot, and is gone the majority of the time. What I know for sure, is that life is short, and we should take time for ourselves now and then, or just let some things go... This is a tough one for most women, especially the perfectionist types. (Ahem, me.)
    Oh, and I too, have felt momentary guilt that the Elf on the shelf wasn't doing fabulous and clever things every night at our house. Then, I got over it, and you know what? Christmas was still magical, and best of all...mama was a little less crazy! ;-)

    You are awesome! Thanks for writing this today!!

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  26. Sarah-

    I love your blog and relish each post. Take heart in knowing that you are doing a fantastic job raising your son, supporting your husband, and making your house a loving home. You have a big heart, a wonderful sense of humor and style. With this post you gave us a great perspective that we all need to remember. One of my favorite pastors told us that we are human "beings," not human "doings." That saying helps to keep me grounded when I start to feel that my life is careening out of control.

    Keep the faith and the humor-

    Love-

    Numegger

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  27. I too struggle with trying to do it all, and I want everything to be perfect - especially around the holidays. I always try to remind myself that my son will not remember if the house was messy, or if certain things were left undone. What he will remember is the happiness in our home, and the joy and love he felt being there. That's what really important, even though it's hard to remember that sometimes.

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  28. Thanks. Great reminder. Until I have Martha Stewart's staff, I won't have a Martha Stewart Christmas and that's gotta be okay because come the 25th (yay me, my birthday) it is what it is and they get what they get. My kids are grown, no grandchildren and Christmas isn't what it used to be anyway at our house. So, I'll relax some and think about all of those stuffed containers in the attic AND the basement full of way too much c̶r̶a̶p̶ beautiful and u̶n̶n̶e̶c̶e̶s̶s̶a̶r̶y̶ important decorations and think about getting them to a manageable amount so I can actually enjoy them instead of dreading facing them. We do the best we can and need to give ourselves a break more often. Thanks for the reminder.

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  29. Great reminder that we simply can't do it all, and that's okay. I'm in the middle of being a mom of 5 kids, a Girl Scout leader, and oh yeah, I'm building a blog, too. I can't do it all. I just selectively neglect stuff.

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  30. Beautiful timing. I always check your blog after I check our accounts and pay the bills...I need a good happy stress free place to visit (thanks!) and today I was especially stressed thinking of two events I have to host this weekend (unavoidable!). I've majorly simplified these events but I'm still stressing about having a beautifully decorated home, yummy food, happy family... But you know what?!! I've giving myself a break! I had my sweet 4th child 3 weeks ago and I have an 18 month old and two older kids. Holy smokes you are right! Giving myself a break and enjoying a family filled lovely weekend. All that matters is that my beautiful children enjoy these events that are all about them! They don't care about how the house looked!

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  31. I agree! No one really has that Hallmark card Christmas. Who really wants the "perfect" Christmas anyway? My daughter (married, expecting and is 31) informed me that the idea of no stocking for her last year was not going to fly this year. She said I cant be a Grinch... but really it isn't that...I am tired of coming up with stocking stuffers after 30 years!! Those stockings can be very expensive..... the Grinch in me is thinking maybe she should do a stocking for me..... ;-)

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    1. Give her the stocking and let her fill it. After doing this for 40 + years the original stocking can go to the kids. You are definitely not a Grinch. It just gets to the point when you want to sit back and take a breath.

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  32. I love this Sarah! Almost brings tears to my eyes. As a mom of two, 20 and almost 24, I wish that I had done that a long time ago!! It doesn't have to be perfect. Things will be missed, somethings won't get done at all. And, I have to agree with Molly who commented above me, "who wants the perfect Christmas anyway?. My girls, and those of my hubby and myself, are mostly of the "non-perfect" moments. The ones that made us laugh, the ones that made us cry. I vowed this year to "enjoy" things...let the chips fall where they may. Because spending a holiday season with a stressed out emotional wife, sister, mom, daughter is soooo not fun!! Thanks for the reminder.

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  33. As always, a slice of the truth, shared in your wonderful "from the heart/real world" style of writing! I too spend a great deal of time talking out loud to myself - in fact it's grown so common I feel lonely if I don't hear my voice going on (and on, roflmao)

    It's taken me decades but at last I've learned not EVERYthing is an A-List priority. And that some things don't even make the B or C list. Any time I doubt the true value of something (done or left undone) I try to imagine if in ten years it will matter? Will anyone remember (including me, lol) Will anyone care that (whatever) was or was not done? It's amazing how darn few things pass that test - pretty reliably it's only the ones that really matter in my (admittedly lunatic) world.

    Thanks as always for an excellent thoughtful post....
    PS here's to all of us spending more time living, less time fretting, and to good 'our loud' conversations' with ourselves! (and/or anyone else who cares to join in and/or listen) roflmao

    Issy

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  34. I believe in this current day of Pinterest and Blogs (and I love both) we put ourselves under even more pressure to be 'perfect'. Growing up we didn't have the 'perfect' looking christmas decorated house or wrapped presents. Mum didn't bake amazing christmas treats and biscuits and my dad was working horrible hours on the farm harvesting (summer in Australia). But I don't begrudge her one bit. I loved this time of year growing up. It was fun and relaxed. We weren't stressed about things, we took each day as it came and that is what made it fun. No day was planned a month in advance as being the day we will bake this, or decorate that, or go here and do this and this and this.

    Often these days we see a small glimpse into others lives and think that everything they do looks like that 24/7 and it all flows smoothly. In all honesty, no-ones life is perfect and they to have crying fits and break downs and stress. I have have recently just been going through a big stress patch. We do need to stop, take a breath and give ourselves a 'break'. NO-ONE can do everything. Do what you can, the best you can and everything else will take care of itself.

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  35. I cried today too! I was humiliated by my own doing but crying is no fun for any reason. Hope you are feeling much better! Mine might take a while!!! :-(

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  36. When I read this I felt like you were talking about me. My husband travels a lot which leaves me to hold down the fort. I also have a full time job which can be very stressful at times. I'm not a full time blogger, but even what little I do was stressing me out which I why I took a break for a while. I can totally relate to how you feel as I'm sure a lot of people can. I think we really do need to give ourselves a break. I wonder why we as women expect so much of ourselves? I don't think that mystery will ever be solved;).

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  37. I needed to hear this today. Thanks.

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  38. This too shall pass. Big cyber hug to you!

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  39. Thank you for posting this Sarah! I so needed this. Especially around the holidays we all put so much pressure on ourselves for our decorations to be perfect, house to be spotless, lots of good food to be cooking and baking and all the other things that go into being a mom. Not to mention our blogs! We all just need a little break. :)

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  40. Amen girl! My mantra this year has been "be kind to yourself" everything does not have to be a dog and pony show and certainly people don't need to spend hours of time and energy on a fake elf and his antics. I heard on Oprah years ago "don't ever say anything to yourself, about yourself that you wouldn't say to a friend! Thanks Sarah!

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  41. Wow we all want everything to be perfect in this time of Pinterest and Instagram and yes even blogs :) there is too much pressure my kids did not have elf on the shelf it did not exist and they still had a great christmas season every year sometimes cards did not happen and that had to be ok. As much as social media tells us we have to be perfect what we really need to be is happy.

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  42. Well, this is a timely post because I'm feeling completely overwhelmed! If I worked 20 hrs. a day right now I wouldn't be caught up in what needs to be done. The small stuff is just going to have to wait while I "give myself a break".

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  43. Sarah, thanks so much for the reminder! I have been stressing over having to make desserts for Thanksgiving and also getting ready for an open house. I am putting too much pressure on myself to come up with a must try recipe for the desserts and make everything perfect. I guess if I have to use store bought crusts my family won't care, so I need to let it go and give myself a break!

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  44. Perfectly said!!!! We all need breaks...but i guess we all need reminders to take them! Thanks for such a great blog!

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  45. Oh thank you for this!! Until this week, my husband worked out of town--two hours there and two hours back home--so he was gone a lot. Our oldest two drive, but one is in college and the other works and goes to high school, so that leaves me to take care of our youngest. I do the cooking and the cleaning and the errands and the finances (you get the picture) and I go to work. I was feeling so bad just now because I cut back my work schedule to part-time and I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks. I kind of needed someone to tell me it is okay to take a break! So thank you again!!!

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  46. You just said what I think all the time. Six years ago I quit a job I hated to run a used bookshop - something I had always wanted to do. Because it's what I love to do (and because I voluntarily took a pay cut to do it) I feel incredibly guilty complaining about the stresses that go hand in hand with owning your own business. But the reality is that they exist and I'm only human like everyone else. I think I shall give myself a break too :)

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  47. I retired from full time work 4 years ago now (it's an age thing!). I have no idea how I found time to work, so yes - give yourself a break, lady! and on the cooking front? We don't have Thanksgiving in the UK, but I do have a couple of celebrations -one the first weekend in December when we have 6 friends over for a lovely long dinner and a pretty table, and then Christmas itself, when my aged sister comes for a week. In neither case do I do the traditional Christmas table..... just what I fancy on the day - and never a turkey (never). Hell! everyone still eats it, so take time out, and don't worry if you don't blog for a few days... we'll be here when you come back :)

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  48. Well said. We are super women but we do need a break and take time to smell the roses!

    Jeanine

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  49. I can so relate to this! I have way too much on my plate and some things are just not going to get done. I feel horrible when it's at the expense of my kids. It's amazing how I can feel so good during the day knowing I really helped a patient and then come home to have all that undone because I forgot to send in something at my son's school. Being Mom is hard!

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  50. Oh gosh, I know how that feels. To help make life easier this year, I used minted and had them address the envelopes for me. I was pregnant with the twins last year and didn't get any cards out, but this year I'm determined. They turned out perfectly and I'm ready for Christmas (well, uh, sort of.)

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  51. Thank you for the reminder, especially as the extra-busy season looms...we don't have to be perfect!

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  52. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who "cracks". I work 2 jobs, trying to keep up my little blog (I don't think I have followers yet, but maybe some day), take care of my fiancé, 2 cats, a dog, a 5 year old and a house. Somedays I have to breath deeper than others and remind myself that it won't always be like this (2 jobs), so for now I gotta suck it up and take those days as well. Hang in there and Happy Holidays!!!

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  53. You get a cookie and gold star for this great post! I'll take real people any day and the slow cooker meatballs over the stressed out fussed up! Yay for you!

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  54. Let me tell you...my partner Alicia and I have an entire blog dedicated to this topic. We are moms, which means we do it ALL and the worst pressure comes from ourselves! If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, stop by sometime! We work really hard for moms like you (and us) to have a place to go for just this reminder. And just for the record, my boys call our elf Two Day Joe, because he stays in one place for at LEAST that long. And as long as I'm being honest, your awesome blog blows ours out of the water every day of the week, and twice on Sunday. You are killing it!
    http://www.theevolutionofmom.com/2013/09/the-secret-to-being-that-mom.html

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  55. So many great comments about what's really important. As for me, I skipped the christmas cards last year and do the frozen meatballs in the crockpot often. And it's OK. The important thing was we got together with friends and family. I certainly feel the pressure to have the perfect "magazine" worthy home. Why? No one sees it except my family and a few friends, and they could really care less! This year I'll probably buy some ready made sugar cookies for my daughter to decorate, and she'll be happy as a clam! I know where you're coming from, though, with hubby being gone. My hubs is Air Force Reserve, which is never just one weekend a month. So much of the time, I'm a single mom. I have to remember that the world won't stop turning if I forget to send back a school paper or my child eats grilled cheese sandwiches for a week straight! I do think this age of blogs and Pinterest feeds this insecurity we have(although I love them!). We definitely should give ourselves a break. Perfection just isn't necessary. Love and laughs are!

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  56. You have NO IDEA how much I needed to read this! You are so right. I do need to give myself a break. If I have to buy some store bought cookies for Santa, it's not going to be the end of the world. Thanks and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

    - Tasha @ Designer Trapped in a Lawyer's Body (www.trappeddesigner.blogspot.com)

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  57. I chuckled and nodded through this whole post. I heard the chorus sing an "Amen" when you talked about the Christmas cards. My hubby is delpoyed right now and we have four kiddos. You don't know how many times I have cried because I forgot it was Spirit Wear day at school, or I didn't have time to make goody bags for my kids classmates for a holiday. I LOVE this post!! I want to hug it!! Thank you and have a happy Thanksgiving!!

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  58. I liked your remark of traditions can get out of hand ;) it makes sense ! I love the advent calendars... Count downtown Christmas , but heck ! It's one more thing this Momma would have to do !!! Ack !! :)

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  59. I love your blog!!! You do a great job sharing decorating & organizing with the world :)
    Everyone feels overwhelmed at times! I was feeling that same way all week. But then I have a good day and all the stress melts away for a few precious hours. Keep up the good work and YES, give yourself a break. Thanks again!

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  60. Awesome blog! So very true. I also love your blogs and share them with others. Wishing you the best holidays ever! It is about spending time with loved ones and the rest will happen on its own.

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  61. I hear you!! I could have written your post - the feelings, the emotional drain, all of it myself. Except for Bub, I have 2 fur babies who have been left out in the rain because the brain didn't co-operate and was 404-File Not Found all day. C'mere and sit with me, we'll cry, hug, commiserate and then, Do Some Something Ourselves! Because no one else will. Sometimes I wonder, does he even care? Does he know how much money I SAVE him. LOL

    Chin up, we're tough as Liquid Nails. =) I'm off to Loews to buy a sink. hahahaha

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  62. you may never see this because I read this a couple of days after your post but THANKS I needed that

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  63. It's wonderful that we could share our feelings. Great posts. Women are AWESOME! I'm 64 and getting tired. lol

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  64. Well said! We would never be as hard on someone else as we are on ourselves sometimes. Hang in there : )

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  65. I just read this post and really enjoyed it. It was helpful to hear that even a busy Mom and blogger such as yourself is human! We are way to hard on ourselves! The whole point of the holidays is to enjoy our family and friends as you said! I think everyone enjoys themselves so much more too, when the hostess/Mom/friend/sister is enjoying herself - not stressing over every little thing to the point of exhaustion etc... I will try to remember to give myself a break as the season continues.

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