Friday, May 14, 2010

Bloggy Butt

I’m not one to obsess about my weight. Most of the time I’m too busy with life to think about it much.

I don’t diet – never have. I just know myself and know what I’m willing to do to keep my weight in check and eating very little is not one of them. 

I like to chow.  :)

I gained VERY little weight during my pregnancy – I actually lost weight the first 20 weeks and then finally gained only 20 pounds by 37 weeks when I had the Bub. And pregnancy did something fantastically awesome to my metabolism – within just a few months, I was well under my prepregnancy weight. And within a year I weighed less than I had been in years.

And then I really started blogging. (Enter the “dun dun duunnnnnnn” here.) And within a few months it had all gone to you know where.

To my butt.

I seriously don’t get it – at first, I was like, yeah, I’m on the computer a lot. But then when I thought about it more, I was perplexed. In my old life, I sat at a computer pretty much seven hours a day. And the other hour we were eating lunch.  ;)

Factor in another one and a half hours of commute time every day, and I was sitting on my booty a whole heck of a lot more than I do now.

So what in the heck?

Let me clarify here – I’m only about 15 pounds overweight. It’s not bad, I know. But lately I’ve realized I just need to take better care of myself – eat a bit better, work out more often, all that good stuff.

So even though we have work out equipment in our basement, there was something about the gym that was calling me back. We joined a nearby gym last week and I’ve been totally gung ho about going.

So this week I decided to take advantage of the free hour with a trainer that came with our membership.

Big mistake. HUGE.

I was already feeling the affects of working out harder than I had in months – and I hesitated to go but thought I just needed to do it. I was motivated! I was going to get BUFF!! I was hallucinating!

I met my trainer and he was such a nice guy, so friendly! We sat and chatted about my goals, timeline, all that good stuff. I was feeling good!

I totally had this image in my head:
personal-trainer1_243214116See how happy they are? She’s working out but she’s happy and feeling a little burn – just enough to know it’s working. He’s so funny and nice and you see that smile? All nice and supportive?

Mr. Trainer and I talked about the areas I wanted to target. Then I told him I had great success losing weight in the past by using the weight machines consistently.

He smiled and told me how right I was – it was so important to work your muscles. All nice and friendly like.

He told me to warm up on the treadmill for about ten minutes and we’d get started afterwards. “We’ll take it easy on you today, no worries!”

The man lies like a rug. A big, muscular, smiling, rug.

It was some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I was begging for mercy. Not out loud, but in my head. Out loud I was smiling through my gritted teeth, trying so hard not to punch him in the nose with every “PUSH THROUGH!”

Mr. Smiley Trainer now looked like this to me: 

I am not a wus peeps. I have a very high pain threshold. And by the end I was cussing like a sailor in my head. And then I realized I was saying it out loud.

At the end Mr. Evil Trainer-Annoying-Smiley-Face was trying to get me to use these:
Amazing Sliders Furniture Sliders Set of 8
Furniture sliders – under my hands and toes and do these contortions on the floor. I’m serious. Are you freaking kidding me? 

He wasn’t. And I was done. And I was blinded by the sweat that was pouring into my eyes. And there he was smiling.

I looked like this:

He still looked like this:

And I wanted to poke him in the eye. And the best part – we didn’t use ONE weight machine (which I really wanted to do). It was all lunge, squat, contortions-on-the-floor crap.

I don’t know if it was some kind of I’m-insane-adrenaline-rush or what, but I told him I’d sign up for more sessions. Then I went to cool down on the treadmill and when I tried to walk back down the stairs to go pay the Mr. Insane-Smiley-Trainer-Man, I realized I couldn’t.

My legs wouldn’t function to walk down the stairs. I wasn’t sure what to do. So I gripped the handrail and took baby steps down the steps, like either a 90-year-old or a 2-year-old. You pick. It was amazingly awesome.

I decided to see how I felt today to decide if I’d go ahead and pay for more sessions. And I’ve decided to politely decline.  ;)

Today I am in pain like I’ve never known. He said he’d take it easier on me next time. I don’t believe him.

I’m going to stick to the boring stuff – treadmill, elliptical, anything other than him. Please God, anything other than him. Mr. Smiley-Face whatever. Maybe someday I'll forget about the pain and go back to him. Maybe. Maybe not.

So tell me – have you used a trainer? Loved it? Hated it? Did you stick with it? Do you send your trainer Christmas cards or do you have nightmares about them? Do tell!

**I am sure my trainer is perfectly awesome and I am quite sure there are plenty of amazing trainers out there. He was not for me, but if you are amazing and nice and won't try to kill me with squats, I would love to work with you. ;)

For a giggle – check out a funny story one of my reader’s shared with me here.  :)


  1. Hey girlfriend!

    One of Kevin's best friends is a personal trainer, but I've never had a work out with him.

    I have, however, lost 7 pounds in the last month- just by eating healthier.

    (I tried running for a while, but it caused my Palendromic Rheumatism to flare up, so I had to quit.)

    I'm not really dieting- I'm just eating healthier, and staying away from fast food, junk food and desserts. (Which I used to eat on a daily basis.)

    It took a while, but now the weight seems to be dropping off every couple of days.

    Whatever you decide, I think moderation is definitely the key!

    Layla :-)

  2. K, now this was hilarious!!! "Bloggy Butt" that is so funny. My problem area is my stomach after 4 kids and I have no butt! Sweet, maybe blogging will help that!

  3. You crack me up!!! I was just thinking the other day that I need to find a trainer. I have battled weight my whole life and never had a trainer, I was thinking it was just what I needed. You convinced me otherwise!!!! Let me tell you a little secret, come close.... you are older than you were before, nothing is as easy as it was before. Sitting more is different when you are older, exercise is different, everything is different. No I know you aren't old, but you're older, things are gong to be different! Good luck to you!

  4. I have to say the very first time I ever worked out with the original Biggest Loser dvd (like SIX years ago!!) I felt amazing. The next day, my legs were SHAKING walking down the stairs. I could barely do it.
    I gave it a two day rest and did it again and again and again. And now, I can honestly say that squats, lunges, and pulsing squats, lunges, etc do not make me sweat one bit. I LOVE it now. I still call Bob Harper a squat/lunge Nazi and NONE of my friends are able to make it through the dvd, but I feel accomplished that I can.

    Hope it gives you SOME encouragement! It's truly amazing what the body CAN do once it's pushed.

  5. I have just started my own lose weight get healthy routine to my's working...and I'm NOT starving! which is a Bonus...seeing how I love food! One of the hardest things has been not eating ANYTHING after dinner...but it's working...9 ponds in 3 weeks! And still a few more to go! I started running...I'm still waiting for that running addiction that I keep hearing about...haven't gotten it yet, but I hope it hurries! I so know the pain you are talking about going down stairs, and from personal experience, it feels so much beeter if you just run down them FAST! Promise! Learned this when the phone was ringing and I had to get it quick. Good luck, You'll do don't know how to do any differently.

    AND, if you need a treat...Dreyers no sugar added ice cream...chocolate chip...then add sliced strawberries on top...yum, I mean, you still gotta live a little right?

  6. I have literally fallen dOwn stairs after a particularly gruelling workout, been carried down stairs before (after I lost my toenails...that one really hurt) and the worst is when you have to repeat it the next day and the next. I always love working with trainers--I'm super self-motivated, but there's something about someone else pushing you past your breaking point and then seeing yourself succeed. Think Biggest Loser. If you don't like trainers in the gym, use DVD's. The concept is similar, meaning there's a set workout and timing, but you can push pause whenever. I use DVDs on vacation sometimes when I know there won't be a fitness room or when I want to do yoga without anyone watching me try different challenge poses.
    Pretty much I love the exhilaration of a trainer and pushing past my normal capacity.

  7. I actually came home from the hospital after having no. 2 weighing less than I started to begin with. I was exactly 1 pound lighter. I gained 6 lbs the entire pregnancy (yay for all day/night morning sickness) and H was 7 lbs even. I was back into my old jeans in like 3 days :) I have noticed that I have a butt on me as well. I am quite a bit more overweight than 15 lbs, but Hubby and I are going to do the Power 90, starting this weekend. I'm excited/scared/nervous about it> :)

  8. Oh my word that was hilarious. I have never used a trainer before but after your post that makes me want to continue my rinky dink workouts at home!

  9. I too after pregnancy weighed less thatn I did when I got prego. Probably got a little too thin, but something was probably out of whack! I used a trainer for a few months last summer and loved it! I really did. I have always been athletic, but I got results I have always wanted. A six pack at 32! It was pretty awesome. Stick with it and it really will get better and you will definetly be less sore. Working out after you are so sore helps relieve the pain.
    Good Luck!

  10. Sarah-- I'm all for "working through it" and pushing yourself and everything, but I have also read a disturbing news article about trainers WHO PUSH TOO HARD-- the opening story in the article was a lady who's muscles had broken down so bad she spent a week in the hospital (she said she knew there was a very serious problem when her pee was like Dr Pepper). OUCH. Don't let him push you too hard! Only you know.

  11. I wouldn't go to a gym. 2 resons I don't want to and ny husband would never pay for it, since he could tell me exactly what to do to get in shape. And that is NEVER going to happen, he is the exercise Nazi. Now I do have a dance instructor my daughter teaches belly dance and it's alot harder than you think and butt is getting tighter everyday. I love to dance and I get to wear pretty clothes while I dance. Love my coin belt.

  12. The one time I tried a personal trainer I was put through the wringer just like you. I stuck it out for a few weeks, but even after all that torture, I didn't see even one shred of difference - in weight or by getting any more buff. I just knew that I dreaded going back to the gym! So I decided it wasn't worth it and went back to my donuts. And running. I run 3 times a week and already I've lost 7 inches in just 1.5 months. :)

  13. I also have been suffering from Bloggers Butt - in my case though it is Bloggers Gut! (I blame the Tasty Tuesday's) I just started on weight watchers online to get these 8 pounds off - and I'm telling you I won't even think about going near a personal trainer after your story!

  14. ROFL oh man you soooo made my day lol. Today I'm supposed to be at the gym thinking of all the fattening stuff I could be doing, but I'm playing hooking & going crystal shopping with my gym buddy. I joined this biggest loser thing they were doing on base here & let's just say everyday I went to the classes I shouted out bits of my epitaph to the trainer. I told her I would be the best looking corpse cuz she was killing me slowly, painfully, & stupid me willingly signed up & paid for the torture. Now my gym buddy has tried in vain to introduce me to this new age torture device called a summit trainer. Let's just say I wanna run over her lil skinny butt to show her how I feel about that thing that I can only survive 1-2 mins on lol Now I know why I never see anyone using them & why they stuck them in the mommy room.

  15. Love it!!! I started back to the gym 2 years ago ( I have 2 kids) and now I can't live without it. It's not about killing yourself...take it easy and gradually work your body into it. When I started back 2 yrs ago I couldn't run 3 minutes on the I can do over 6 miles at one time. I blogged about my first 5K at

    If I can get back in to shape, anyon can!! I'm not overweight either, but felt so frumpy when I decided to go back. Now I go 3-4 days a week. It's become part of my emotional stability...I love the physical effets of working out, but the mental rewards are better. I think better, am less tired and have loads more evergy and patience. So, stick with it (trainer or no trainer) and keep me posted!!!

  16. I have a great trainer sarah who just moved away, but is continuing her training online:

    she specializes in nutrition and weight training and is really good for females and males alike!

  17. rofl... I totally can picture it! Me and my fiance' have started working out together and walking up the stairs hurts all my muscles now rofl

    Kim @
    party inspiration

  18. You are hilarious! I worked out with my hubby/trainer once and couldn't walk for a week. Seriously. Every step was ouch..ouch...OUCH! Never again. I stick to low calorie and walking. I put on 20lbs this year and have taken 5 off by modifying my chowing and walking more. Good luck girlfriend!

  19. I had a trainer for almost 6 months who I LOVED working with. Yeah, he worked me out hard, but he was willing to listen to me and give me some choices in my workout - so sometimes I was able to avoid the on the floor lunges and whatnot you were describing... I was really enjoying getting into a rhythm and going to the gym regularly, but then my trainer got transferred to another gym, stood me up for several appointments, and I realized how much I had been relying on him. As much as I loved working with him, I don't think I'll ever work with a trainer again because it gave me yet another excuse to stop working out.

    But thanks for posting about this because I definitely need to get back to working out too!

  20. Sorry, but I laughed for like minutes and had tears in my eyes.

    That said, I may be skinny, but I am in no way shape or form in good shape, so I probably would have passed out. Or cried. Probably cried then passed out. Keep at it! I've been thinking about trying to run just down the road and back, but I think I would feel like somebody who smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes!

    Don't they say to start slow? lol

  21. Thanks for the laugh this morning! My blogger butt and I thank you. I sometimes wish my stationary bike was somehow hooked to my computer and that it wouldn't work unless I rode for at least 30 mins a day! Always wanted to try a trainer. When hubby was told he should go see a physical therapist for his back I was actually jealous. They're like trainers only gentler right? After reading your tales of enjoyment I'm thinking a trainer might not be a good fit for me either!

  22. You are too funny! Good for you for being motivated though. Getting started is the hardest part. Those squats will kill you! I did them a couple of weeks ago.......(after no workout in years, mind you) and the next day I was in the worst pain I had ever been in from a workout. Going downstairs was horrible....going to the bathroom-forget it! I did it to myself too! I think it is nice to talk to a trainer to get you started on the right track, then do it on your long as you will.

  23. Thanks! This just totally helped me castaway any thought I had about joining a gym! I used a trainer once to help my back, she was a sweet older lady and I thought this might be okay. She was nice and told me it was great that I was not overweight. Then I all I heard the entire time was how soft my stomach is, no muscle. I have been laying on my back for 3months from hurting my back not allowed to do so much as a squat what did you expect? By the way I had to buy tennis shoes since that is a requirement at gyms and ended up doing it last minute at walmart and all they had were all white. She noticed the never worn before vibrant white tennis shoes right away...I wanted to smear them with mud but I thought they might frown on that.

    I love reading your blog! Thanks for sharing!

  24. You told Mr. Smiley Trainer Man that you wanted to work out with weights. You did not work out with weights. Mr. Smiley Trainer Man did not listen to you. Run far, far away from any trainer who does not listen to you!

    I go to a trainer occasionally just to get ideas on how to switch things up. She always listens to me. She pushes me sometimes to try new things but she knows I like to lift so that's mainly what we concentrate on.

    For your bloggy butt, I have two words - Cable Kickbacks. If they can lift even my 45 year old saggy ass, they'll definitely work for a young chick like you!!

  25. That's insane, but at least it worked! And you're so lucky for losing your baby weight so quickly. I'm 15mos post-pregnancy and I gained more weight. :\

  26. I can totally relate. I actually had a trainer for a year. I met with her once a week and it was pure torture EVERY TIME! (she was great though)

    I recently discovered a great book that I'm using. It's called "The Female Body Breakthrough" by Rachel Cosgrove. I highly recommend it.

  27. ugh! Trainers seem to think we can start off at insane exercise levels right away! Try Jillian Michael's 30 day shred - you can do it at home, it's 20 minutes, you sweat like crazy, and all you need are some handweights. It is an AWESOME workout, and I lost 15 pounds in a month with it.

  28. Yeaaaaahhh... trainer for me? Not so much! :-) I just got married & quickly turned the "newlywed 9" into the "newlywed 19" Heehee! I know I need to take better care of myself & start working out more since I really don't eat too many unhealthy things but it's the getting motivated part that's killing me. Proud of you though for being so determined! :-)

  29. No, I've never been to a trainer, but I do have a workout routine at home that I found in Fitness Magazine. It is tough, but you can do it at your own pace, and rest when you need to. And you can use whatever amount of weight you want. Here is a link to the Fitness Magazine page and the workout:

  30. Oh, gosh. It hurts, doesn't it?

    But I'll tell you the truth: as you get closer to my age, it'll be easier for you to stay slim if you do some weight training. I've done best at that when I've worked with a trainer.

    For now, I'd say what is it that you really want? Do you just want to drop those 15 pounds and be in all-around better shape? Then go for the cardio. Do you really want to build muscle and be buff? Then the trainer is the way to go.

    For now: ibuprofen. 800 mg is a prescription dose; just don't take more than 2400 mg in a 24-hour period. And lots of water. . . you've got a lot of lactic acid that needs to be washed through your system.

  31. You are hilarious! Its too bad we can't loose weight just by laughing, because your blog would be a good workout! I have never done the trainer thing, they intimidate me too much!

  32. I use Curves. When I first started, I thought it was just for old lady's, but it has such a friendly atmosphere and everyone is so nice. I can't go as much anymore (once a week or less) so I picked up with some friends that meet at our church to exercise. The first time I way overdid it and feel like you do now, but I started again the other day and just kept taking lots of water breaks when I knew I needed a break. Good luck. My advice- find something you like to do. And remember, something is better than nothing :)

  33. Too funny! I laughed so hard (at both stories). I have never worked out with a trainer and after reading this, I don't think I ever will. :-)

  34. I laughed my head off at your post, because I CAN RELATE!!! Only I was stupid enough to sign up for a YEAR--yes, a YEAR!! And I can honestly say I HATED EVERY SINGLE SESSION. It never got easier, and I never learned to like it. I stuck out the year though, one miserable session at a time. I know there are others who really love that kind of thing, but I'm not one of them. Biking, running, hiking, yoga, zumba--anything but a trainer!

  35. Oh honey...that was your first mistake telling mr. smiley-trainer guy that you wanted to work on your bloggy butt! Every trainer I have ever come in contact with uses squats to tone the butt! Love to hate them but they work...however you always find it difficult to sit on the toliet afterwards cause the backs of your legs feel as if they had been beaten with whips!! :)

  36. I only have to get rid of 10 lbs. Only ya right. It is hard I tell you. I have done it before I can do it again. But do I want to ;)

    No I have never used a trainer or a gym.

  37. Oh I know I am not supposed to laugh...

  38. I have had very similar scenarios as you with trainers. Now? I LOVE Gilad on Fit TV each morning. Warmup, lunges/squats/weights, then abs & we're done! Only 30 minutes. Totally fits into my schedule way better & I can look like a dog & no one sees me. Smile!

  39. You tell an AMAZING story! I must admit, I just laughed until my stomach hurt :) Sliders... Really? I can't even imagine.

  40. I did try a trainer but it didn’t work out for me. Something about them breathing over me telling me to "push it" ignite the i.wanna.slap you in me.
    I'm trying to get into shape (besides the round one) and is so darn hard. I'm addicted to sweets and bread...not a good combination.

  41. I have never, ever worked out at a gym. I just look at one and I see the fires of hell through its doors. lol But I did go out and buy Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD on Monday. Tuesday morning I dragged my hind end out of bed to check it out. I was motivated. I was going to do it. And then I dropped the disc down a crack in the entertainment center. I can't get it there. I have to wait for dh to get it. The entertainment center is just too heavy for me. I took that as a sign that I wasn't supposed to exercise this week. Maybe next week ;)

  42. Have you ever heard of P90X? Let me preface this by saying I put ZERO stock in "work-out in front of your tv" programs, but the hubs and I started P90X 4 weeks ago and it's been amazing! It works every. single. area. of. your. freaking. body. In different workouts, on different days, so you're never killing areas that are sore from the previous workout... and one of the workouts is YOGA! I love it! (Had never tried yoga... thought it was for sissies... Oh how wrong I was!) Anyway, I would recommend this workout. And you and your hubby could do it together so you can help motivate each other! Check out And no matter what you decide to do, good luck!

  43. Too funny!!!

    The one and only time I ever used a personal trainer was 8 years ago, and I met with her one time. It was pretty much exactly as you described. I actually fell on my face doing push ups, and then same thing...I couldn't walk down the stairs to leave. It was pure torture!

    What I don't get is this. They make money by having people continue on with them, right? Then why do they torture you so!?! I will most likely never go back to a personal trainer again. Ever!

    If you already know what works for you, I'd stick to that and enjoy your workouts! 'Cause let's face it, if we don't enjoy working out, we just won't do it!

    Best of luck to you!

  44. This post is too funny, nothing like a good laugh in the morning. That's great you joined a gym and want to get in shape! I joined one almost 3 years ago and got 5 free sessions with a trainer and I can totally relate to how you feel. I did some leg exercises and I seriously could barely squat to go to the bathroom, it hurt so bad, even though I had been working out regularly before that. Just remember, you're sore because the exercises you're doing are working. ;) The best way to get rid of the sore feeling, is to keep working out the muscles (not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure). Why don't you ask for a different trainer? and make them do the machines with you?

    I would keep up the weights too. Weight lifting burns 3 times as many calories as cardio and even after your workout, it keeps burning calories. It also helps with your bone density and preventing osteoporosis. I love lifting weights and having some muscle. :) At any rate, keep up the good work!

  45. Hil-ar-ious. Seriously. Laughing out loud. Ohhh, I so feel your pain. I've been there. Personally, I let a Tracy Anderson video kick my butt a few weeks ago...I'm gearing up to try it again. I hear if you work out once every 6 weeks or so, you get amazing results ;).

    Okay - I lost 10 pounds last year just by eating small portions once every 2 hours. If I really wanted a cheeseburger, I just ate half (I'm not kidding), and then 2 hours later I'd have a granola bar, and 2 hours later have the other half of the cheeseburger. I'm not kidding. Anyway...good luck! You can do it!

  46. Hil-ar-ious. Seriously. Laughing out loud. Ohhh, I so feel your pain. I've been there. Personally, I let a Tracy Anderson video kick my butt a few weeks ago...I'm gearing up to try it again. I hear if you work out once every 6 weeks or so, you get amazing results ;).

    Okay - I lost 10 pounds last year just by eating small portions once every 2 hours. If I really wanted a cheeseburger, I just ate half (I'm not kidding), and then 2 hours later I'd have a granola bar, and 2 hours later have the other half of the cheeseburger. I'm not kidding. Anyway...good luck! You can do it!

  47. Oh, thank you for sharing! This was such a funny read (you had me giggling out loud at furniture sliders)

    I too am just now getting back to exercising and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has a hard time moving the next day!

    Keep it up! And please keep us updated on more funny experiences like this one!

  48. I'm going to do a carb free diet. That alone should be a good start at living a healthier life. Exercise = UGH

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  49. Funniest post ever! Okay, not funny because you were in pain, but funny because I could just picture the whole scenario in my head.
    You crack me up.
    I have never had a trainer, and don't really want one. I've been working out for about 5 years and sometimes attend the workout classes. Lately I have been running (which I have hated my entire life!) and for some reason, I am enjoying it. I'm praying that I will get those skinny runner's legs if I keep running long enough. :)
    Good luck!
    Ice cream always helps my sore muscles. :)

  50. THAT"S what I have Bloggy Butt. Here I have been blaming it on aging and peri menopause but it all of that blogging. Well that blows, because I love reading and posting. What's a girl to do? Maybe I will have to cut back by thirty and go walk. :(
    You've got it together. You will be fine.

  51. I work out with a trainer every week. And girlfriend, IT HURTS. But I love her to death anyway and I love love LOVE the results I'm seeing. Also? It hurts less as time goes on. The first session was positively BRUTAL, but once your muscles get used to the abuse it stops hurting so much. Good luck!!

  52. Thanks for sharing such a funny story...I needed the laugh and can totally relate.

    I joined a gym for the first time in my life a year ago to try to shed what was left of pregnancy #2. At first I just did the cardio and wts. solo and then someone encouraged me to try a class called Body Works. It's basically non-stop light wts. with heavy reps along with lunges, sqauts, planks etc. KILLED ME the first few times. A year later and I do it twice a week. Still kills, but the results are amazing.

    I also take spin class 3x/week. Again, killed me at first, but the results are worth it. So this is what I do instead of forking over more money for a trainer. Try some of the classes out and you might be surprised...I was. Best of luck!

  53. Ok, so you said you read all your comments, so I am hoping you will check this out. I borrowed this book from my mom (she was always a hot mama when I was young and this is what she did) and it is AMAZING!!! You can even do it at home, although I like to take it to the gym so I can do it without the help of my 1 and 3 year old. IT IS VERY DATED!!!! But if you can look past the spandex leotard, high tops and scruchy socks, it is worth it! I have totally shaped up in just the 2 weeks I've done it. And although the first week, I was kind of sore, I LOVE IT NOW!!

    I found it on Amazon. Check it out. :)

    If the link doesn't paste, do a google search for The Fat Burning Workout.

  54. I had a really good laugh reading this post. I've worked with trainers before and haven't been able to find a good fit for me. The first one - I would say "no I'm not doing that" and she was like "ok. Let's try something else." So I began to use it to my advantage. The second one was "too hard" on me! I ended up in the hospital with periformus syndrome and had to get a shot of morphine to ease the pain. Never saw him again and I had a doctor's note to boot. I find adding more fruits and veggies and cutting back on carbs and drinking 2L of water works to get me started.

    Good Luck on Bloggy Butt!

  55. Ok, so I normally don't comment (screaming babies on the lap while blog-surfing ... not a good combo), BUT that was funny. And well-written. And you deserve to know that :D

  56. Hubby and I both had a free session with at trainer when we signed up for 24 hour fitness. He got ten more sessions and really liked it. He said it gave him a good start on how to target what he wanted to fix.

    Good Luck!!

  57. Bless your heart! I've never worked out with a trainer. I know better. I need a trainer, but I know myself to well. I'm sure I would find myself saying words that would make a sailor blush.

    I have had a trainer set up a work out plan and print it out for me and I do it myself. That worked really well for me. It cost me $50, but it was a one time charge.

    If it makes you feel any better, I did legs Monday for the first time in forever and I can finally walk normally today. YEA! Ibuprofen! Ibuprofen! Ibuprofen! Protein shakes are supposed to cut down on soreness too, so I hear.

  58. I Love that you have a link you that story (the Greek God one) I was going to send it to you if you didn't reading your story made me think of it, and really I don't know anyone who hasn't laughed out loud reading it! Thanks for the smile and all the great ideas :0)

  59. My husband is a trainer, and no I've never let him train me! 2 reasons for that,
    1. when I was first pregnant with #4 (right after he became a trainer) he came in while I was on the treadmill and said I wasn't going fast enough to do anything...are you kidding me, I'm pregnant & want to barf my brains out, I'm lucky I'm even on this thing!
    2. He tells me the stories of the workouts he gives his scares me!
    I love my husband, and I'm know he's a great trainer and could whip me into shape in no time (& I need it!) but the thought totally scares me! Plus I want to keep loving him instead of not liking him for making me hurt :)

    I started Billy's bootcamp this legs still hurt from my workout on monday & I was practically crying having to go up and down stairs on tues!

  60. Bad trainer who did not obey number one rule: Don't break your client! -because she'll never come back... I encourage you to try another trainer who knows better and maybe isn't trying to show off! This ain't the Biggest Loser here people, just a mild case of bloggy butt! (Love your terms.)
    Keep going on your mission!
    ~Angie (Certified Personal Fitness Trainer & Teacher)

  61. At least you can make it 15 minutes on the elliptical! I can only do 5-7 min! LOL
    I have worked with a trainer once, but I would rather just do it on my own! So,now I have an elliptical at home so I have been trying to get up and do my lousy 5 min. in the mornings. lol
    Good luck!!

  62. Everything in moderation...except when it comes to decorating that is!

    I inadvertently referred to you in my post today as the Thrifty Decor Chic...(just caught it and corrected it!) You can't be that far from fabulous if I made that mistake! Janell

  63. tip for sore muscles - EPSOM Salt! After a tough workout, soak in it in the warmest temperature you can for at least 10 minutes and it will work wonders. and now they sell packs of scented epsom salt (with chamomile, lavender, etc).

    i've been training for a physical test for the past year and have become so in tuned with my body that i now know what works and doesn't work for me. running is on the top of my list. it helps my core, my strength and endurance and makes me feel great. and then the basic old school simple workouts like pushups, pullups and situps have transformed my body and made it more lean. i tried crossfit training sessions, curves, yoga, weight machines and none have really help me with the areas that i need to perform in. for me free weights are better than the machines. and that you can do at home. one thing i do go to the gym for is to use the elliptical which i love! on days i can't run, i do that b/c it mimics running. i program it to do hills and can feel my legs burn. in order to see change, you need to work beyond your comfort zone. however, do it gradually. not all in one day which i think this trainer of yours forgot to do. eventually as you try different approaches, you'll find what suits you best. i haven't changed my eating habits much b/c i generally eat a balanced diet except for coffee and the occasional chocolate treat which doesn't help. however drink lots of water. and also eating the right snacks before a workout helps with energy. for instance, before a run, i have a banana or toast with almond butter and believe or not, a cup of coffee gives you the kick you need to endure a long run or a grueling workout. anyway, good luck and have fun working out!

  64. Hey girl, same thing happened to my hubby and I at our free session at LA Fit. My hubby actually had to leave to go throw up. Those guys give everyone the same workout without checking their ability first. They don't get paid squat for what they do either so private trainers are the way to go. My BFF does fitness competions and she was training me for awhile. She was able to push me while keeping my limits in mind. Plus I felt way more comfortable with her being the one to judge to judge how my body was shaping up. Back when I was motivated I lost 25 lbs in 8 weeks.

  65. I hear ya - I know it's hard. I've been spinning four days week for months and am just NOW seeing results. I focus on the fact that I'm moving my body and letting the results come as they come. Zero pressure or expectations. Don't forget that you are awesome. :)

  66. I am a NASM certified PT. I think too many trainers spent too much time not focusing on a basic set of single function exercises. If you are just starting back, you should be doing squats, lunges, pushups etc with no gadgets other than a dumbbell and maybe a ball. You get your body comfortable with exercise, develop a basic sense of balance and then throw in the gadgets to challenge posture and to work in different planes with different muscle groups at once. There has been major regognition within the last few years that most injury does not occur when one is doing a nautilus machine like linear movement. People usually twist, bent or contort when injured so the focus by trainers has been to get people exercising that way from day 1. I 100% agree that experienced exercisers should work out that way but new clients should not start out that way. It is almost a game of who can be seen working people out with the most flashy gadgety multi muscle exercise.

    And you should dump the machines! There are few uses for them. They do not develop your muscles in a natural manner, are hard on your joints etc. You are better off using body weight exercises and you will show faster results.

    It is an old book but still one of my favs...8 minutes in the morning. Another is G Force.

  67. Right there with you, girl!!

  68. Ha ha. I loved reading this. I like to go at my own pace. But one piece of advice I have gotten from a trainer that I do try to follow is to change things up every couple of weeks. Your muscles build a memory for a certain type of movement after a couple of weeks. So once it does that you don't get as good of a work out because your muscles don't have to work as hard on that exercise you always do.

    Now...I just work out sporadically and my muscles feel challenged every time! Ha ha. :) I need to be more consistent. Thanks for inspiring me to try harder.

  69. I hope you are feeling better today!! I agree with sticking to the elliptical. At least until you feel like you are back to where you want to be. Then if you want to go farther get a trainer!

  70. I lost 30 lbs a year ago with a trainer. I loved it. I learned so much about balance between diet and exercise and taking care of me. I tried not to obsess, but it really is a lifestyle change. I did it in 15 weeks and it was worth every cent I spent. I'm prego now and can't wait to work with her again when I have the baby. If you trust your trainer, and I trusted mine 100%, then you can learn a lot from them. It's work, I didn't cheat AT ALL on my 1100 calorie diet plan for 3 months.

    Oh, and it's true, you WILL feel better. The first couple weeks you are waking up muscles you aren't used to using like that. But I was sore almost every day after a training session, but it got better and it was almost a good pain.

    Good luck!

  71. I am so feeling you right now. I just started a new program and I'm so out of shape I just can't keep up. The pregnant women in my class were just blowing me off! (I am not pregnant by the way - just apparently useless). Anyway I have a post also on my experience from last week and will drop a link in to yours. Someone must be compassionate!

  72. I've never used a trainer. I got really motivated six months ago and I've lost 24 pounds and lots of inches and I feel great. I bought a book called The Women'sHealth BIG Book of Exercises by Adam Campbell. It's great. And I subscribe to BuffMother (check her out on Google) and I eat pretty good now. YOU CAN DO IT! I get REALLY IRATE when I see the trainers KILLING people who haven't been working out, and it's obviously like their first or second workout in awhile. And, it kills me when they don't tell people the right way to do stuff. For ex: a green Hulk trainer at my gym had this poor wench doing squats, each foot on a different 5" stand, using a kettlebell. He didn't tell her to put her weight on her heels, she was about to fall over, and I could tell she will never do that stupid exercise again. How about regular squats, on the floor, learn proper form, with no weight?! You can do it, though! Keep going and work yourself HARD! No More Bloggy Butt! Thanks for the funny post!

  73. Thanks for the smile!
    I have struggled with my weight for years...since like puberty until last year.
    Last year my life was turned up side down and in response I lost weight! Almost 60#! I have five children and with the first three I lost weight... but with four and five the weight crept in and with life and stress it kept creeping in! I found doing the thing I dreaded the most (counting calories) (calorie king rocks for helping with this) and knowing my calorie range, DRINGKING LOTS OF WATER! I was a diet pepsi addict, so water was a difficult change, but worth every pound I lost. I don't like diets that promise fast results. It doesn't happen. If it comes off fast, it comes back faster and with friends! Good luck with losing the blogger for the trainer...anyone who loves to sweat that much scares me! :) I enjoy the treadmill and eliptical machine myself, but have discovered I enjoy weight training..lean muscle looks good in tees and swimsuits (take it from someone trying to get rid of a lot of baby fat)! You've gotten alot of good advice! Have fun at the gym! And please keep blogging!

  74. I experienced the same exact thing a few weeks ago. There is a lady personal trainer where I live and she has been holding fitness boot camps. They are outside, you choose how many days you want to go, she provides nutritional aid, etc. She is becoming VERY POPULAR so I went with a friend to try it out to see if I wanted to join the next session. It took all of 5 minutes to realize it was going to be a loooong hour. I pushed through everything (walking lunges down a pier on the beach and squats all the way back) and she then told us to sprint....I tried but could NOT do it. I was not tired or out of breath, but my legs were not holding me up. The class was Friday morning, I was unable to walk normal until the following Thursday. I have never in my life felt that much pain/soreness in my life. I researched thinking I hurt myself but discovered I was probably suffering from DOMS and that it would get better. Her next session starts the first week of June, I think I am going to join because I know she will kick my butt, I think I will just take it a little easy in the beginning so I don't put myself out of the game all together!!

  75. So glad you addressed trainers!!I have had some less than ideal experiences. As a result, I have decided trainers and trainees come in different types. We are all individuals! Physically. Emotionally. In personality, coordination and fitness levels. We want different things out of workouts. Some would rather eat less. Others would rather work out less. Some want drill sargeants. Some want a gentle grandmother to hold our hands. Some need to go slowly. Some want to drive hard. Some are more sensitive to the pain of soreness.
    All trainers need to be good listeners and know how to apply the listening to the training plan. They need to be able to tell if they have gone too hard or not hard enough. And most of all be respectful of whoever they work with.

  76. OMG! That cracked me up.....and I too thought the same thing ~ but, I wanted to use weights!! Trainers work out differently ~ but they do know what they are doing. You obviously worked muscles that you're not working in your workouts. I say you give your body a few days rest....suck it up and go back and hire him. You'll love the least I did=)


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